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Your marriage is in trouble. You don’t know what to do . You want unbiased professional advice, “Can or should this marriage be saved?” So, you ask around and get the name of a therapist, someone who can offer impartial feedback about the viability of your relationship. Is there enough worth salvaging, or is there too much dysfunction, too much water under the bridge? Should you reinvest or cut your losses and throw in the towel? If, in your search for answers about your marr

Talking Tip #7: Heed his effort to make amends. John Gottman also noticed that in healthy relationships, one person often reverses the flow of negative communication by attempting to say something conciliatory.  Then the other person acknowledges it and becomes more conciliatory in return.  For instance, after fighting for a while, one person might say, “Well, I suppose there’s something to what you’re saying” or “I think we both do that [admitting culpability].  Hearing the

The tips you’re about to read pertain to conflict-ridden conversations. I don’t think you need assistance making superficial talk or with discussions that are void of emotional content.  Those are no brainers.  Emotion-packed conversations are where we get in trouble.  They bring out the worst in everyone.  In keeping with the “ it takes one to tango ” spirit, when you change your steps in the dance of conflict between you and your guy, he’ll respond more sanely and your hea

Here we go again. We are endlessly fascinated when high profile marriages crash and burn. It offers us opportunities to speculate, criticize, engulf ourselves in smugness, or in humbler moments, recognize the humanity in all of us. But most of all, just like the outrageously popular show, American Idol, it gives us something to talk about and weigh in on. So, today’s flavor of the month is the Gore marriage. Inquiring minds want to know, “How is it possible that college sweet

Although future posts will include a step-by-step guide for healing from infidelity, I want to jump start you on the process in case you just discovered the betrayal and you’re eager to improve things between you and your spouse. Healing from infidelity involves teamwork; both partners must be fully committed to the hard work of getting their marriages back on track. The unfaithful partner must be willing to end the affair and do whatever it takes to win back the trust of his

Every once in a while I step back and think about the messages I give to couples in my practice, seminars, keynotes and in my writing. To be sure, I have been a psychotic optimist about people’s ability to survive whatever comes their way in terms of marital challenges. For example, my mantra when interviewed by media about the impact of infidelity is that it is by no means a marital deal breaker. In fact, I say, that when a couple is willing to do the hard work of healing fr

Your marriage is on the rocks. Your husband is emotionally unavailable and you strongly suspect he is having an affair. Your wife never wants to have sex. You are so miserable about your home life, you can’t even concentrate at work. You’re so desperate; divorce starts looking like a reasonable option. But you’re just not sure what to do. So, you turn to your friends and family for a shoulder to lean on. You tell them about the problems in your marriage and how your spouse ju

As soon as I heard on the news that Tiger Woods smashed his car after leaving his house at some ungodly hour in the morning, I knew we were in for a tabloid blitz with speculations about the possible reasons for such a hasty exit. Then, once allegations of infidelity started to hit the airwaves, the inevitable happened- all eyes turn to the intriguing Tiger Woods mystery. Inquiring minds want to know, “What did he do?” “Why did he do it,” “How often did he do it?” “What does