I've been around for you I've been up and down for you But I just can't get any relief I've swallowed my pride for you I've lived and lied for you But you still make me feel like a thief
You got me stealin' your love away 'Cause you never give it Peeling the years away And we can't relive it I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly
You said we'd work it out You said that you had no doubt That deep down we were really in love Oh, but I'm tired of holding on To a feeling I know is gone I do believe that I've had enough
I've had enough of the falseness Of a worn out relation Enough of the jealousy And the intoleration I make you laugh And you make me cry I believe it's time for me to fly
{Refrain} Time for me to fly Oh, I've got to set myself free Time for me to fly And that's just how it's got to be I know it hurts to say goodbye But it's time for me to fly
Yes, it's time for me to fly, literally and figuratively. I'm getting ready to head to the airport. I am not looking forward to leaving warm, sunny southern California, and heading for the cold at home. And it is very cold at home. I am looking forward to seeing the kids again, though.
Not much new is happening with me. I know that my wife continues to correspond with her boyfriend via telephone and email. So the "breakup" never really happened. Nothing has changed.
I know that her boyfriend has enlisted the help of a friend who is a computer hacker. With the help of this friend, he has hacked boyfriend's wife's computer and obtained transcripts of correspondence between his wife and me. Not much there, but my wife is looking for "dirt" on me. In fact, we went three months with no correspondence at all.
And just last week, my wife said she wanted to work together through the divorce. "We need to work through this amicably." She says this, then digs for the goods on me. I have not confronted her on this inconsistency. But I intend to.
As an aside, the reason that she is digging is clear to me. She is still on the fence regarding the divorce. She has noticed changes in me (positive, I hope??). Anyway, so she has noticed changes, and she is kinda scratching her head. So, in order to do what is "supposed to happen next" (and what her best friend and her mother are cheering her on to do), she is looking for justification. She needs more reasons to want the divorce.
Not sure what to do regarding the divorce, though. A part of me says that I should work with her. Another part says that I have a responsibility to protect myself. I will probably try to work it out with her, and if we can't come to an agreement, then the war will begin.
Hoping for 440 replies. I wanna beat lwb's record!!
mark, I'm so sorry. spend a minute if you have it and soak up those last rays of so cal sunshine and just breathe.
okay, now that you are done choking on the smog that comes with the sun, get bundled up, 'cause baby, its cold outside.
I wish I had words of wisdom for you. I am trying to walk that line, too...being amicable, but protecting myself. its a hard line to walk. what I've decided to do is work with h for as long as it feels right and I do feel like I am protecting my own best interests, too, but if it doesn't, well, then I go for my lawyer/his lawyer. working with him, btw, doesn't mean I lay my cards on the table. granted, I don't have a lot to hide. in fact, nothing, really. other than this site, which I'd prefer he not find just because I like you all and want to keep being able to be open and get support here.
take care, mark. safe flight!
M-41 H-38 M-10 years, T-14 years Bomb-PA 3/19/07 Separated-6/7/07 Piecing/h back home 5/08 S-6 S-4 D-4
"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is that little voice at the end of the day that says, 'I'll try again tomorrow.'"
Hey, Mark; Computer hacking is illegal. I don't think it's very punishable if they were only seeking information but not destroying, but either way, it's wrong! If you have proof that they got into your computer, I'd make sure I kept it! Also beware about any other personal info you may have stored on it.
I would feel SO satisfied that they're not finding anything. Geez, just how low can some people go?
I think I'd take it day by day with the D. See how things go, keep your best cards close at hand and pull them out if you need to.
But there are bigger fish to fry than vindictive spouses...
And, no, I don't feel satisfied at all. Either the boyfriend's wife has been corresponding with somebody else, or boyfriend is making things up, because my wife told me that there is "stuff there." I suspect the latter. Her boyfriend is a worm...
As I have said before, I am trying to live above it. Just walk past it. I can't control it, so I am not gonna sweat it. And the last thing that I intend to do is try to convince her. I told her that it wasn't me. Either she believes me, or she doesn't.
its true, you need to protect yourself and if need be, the gloves will have to come off if she gets nasty.
she is HOPING to find some sort of an excuse.. but there won't be any, although Im sure she will come up with some screwed up sort of reality of why this all happend, they always do.
You have changed and you are not the same person you once were.. a much much stronger person, and probably like the rest of us a more cynical one.
My hope for you is that you are able to move on with or without her, and that your kids remain close to you. They need their daddy.
safe flight home my friend.
(((hugs)))
Tal
me: 37 H: 44 Married for 18 years this june S7 S3 porn issues, and much more... since 7/06
Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.
As I have said before, I am trying to live above it. Just walk past it. I can't control it, so I am not gonna sweat it. And the last thing that I intend to do is try to convince her. I told her that it wasn't me. Either she believes me, or she doesn't.
Mark Change the "I am trying" to "I will" and print this out and put is somewhere to remind you....
This is all WE can do I keep thinking to myself about changing the password on my Computer or get worried that W will find this site and then agian I thinks So what... I have nothing to hide. She does not have my E-mail password but there is not much there except me spilling my feeling out to my friends. take care buddy Maybe next time you are here we can meet up
Manuel
And if I claim to be a wise man, well It surely means that I don't know
Good for you for living above it, I don't blame you, but use it if you have to.
Vindictive spouses are nasty. I'm watching my sister and her ex go through that. Both of them are being vindictive. You don't want to be that way! I want to tell them both to just GET ON WITH LIFE. It's not worth it. They've pretty much destroyed their relationships with their kids.
Work w/ her, but protect yourself & your kids. There has to be some sort of "civil compromise," but "working w/ her" does not need to mean that you compromise your integrity or YOU and the kids.
How did you find out that someone was hacking into the computer?
So, her mom is supportive of her in the D process?
Me: 38 H: 35 S4, S5, S10 Bomb 01/07 Wanted D - nothing would change his mind Numerous A's prior to D bomb; EA prior/during D bomb Piecing 04/07 Deployed for a year 05/07 Still Piecing 2010 M 11 yrs 05/10
