So no word from the ex (the Leo!) since he phoned on Wednesday for an hour and 25... (mainly moaning)... but I got a text from the exex (the Piscean!) last night.. very warm, open, keen.. yes I want to see you, am free Sunday, if thats good for you, but I am also free on Monday.. (oh dear, its a Bank Holiday weekend, he's 41 and 5 years S from his W... but seems to be 'at a lose end' like me, poor guy, lol!). He said... you take care and i'll be in touch.
So, my ex of 19 years ago is more open and real and warm and enthusiastic (despite us splitting up 15 years ago) than my current ex.. (despite telling me he misses me terribly and thinks about me every day).
So I guess I am seeing the Piscean Sunday. I may also need to see my ex Sunday too, to sign a new joint tenancy agreement on our house, his idea... (I would have let it in my own name if I were him, so dont know why he didnt). I actually dont know when I'm seeing him, but he said he would phone me Saturday. I'm also seeing SIL today (who went skiing with ex and brother and Helen at Christmas, but she wont mention it, or him, I know) and may be seeing his BMF W s later.. so some interesting perspectives may arise there.
Venus retrogrades back into Pisces on Sunday, the backward motion is supposed to bring past lovers back, doubley true for Pisceans and the north node (my true destiny) is also still on my Venus.. exactly where it was last, 19 years ago.
Sigh. Think this is going to be one of those text book cases where I fall for someone else (again) and THEN the WAS starts phoning, visiting, trying to weedle their way back in... ?
Me:40! H:37 Together: 12yrs IDLY & left 11/07 ADs 03/08 OW 8/08 Reconciled 05/09 now married! my thread
...or maybe Venus moves today! Theres an interesting blog about it and the full moon on Priya kale
Saw BFF and H all day yesteday.. they had a big row in front of me (the've been together 15 years).. they sorted it out and we had a nice evening, but I had her sat sobbing on my shoulder in a car park after the row and saying she needs to make herself 'comfortably numb' or the alternative is to leave. She will be a WAW one day. So bad. What is wrong with everyone? G and Cher have ongoing problems. I know my ex isnt happy with Helen, miserable in fact. My Mum has been complaining about my Dad and their R since retiring.
I dont know ANYONE who is happy in their relationship. Do any of you?
I wish you good luck this weekend. It seems like it will be an eventful one!
Your question about whether we know any couples who are happy in their relationships struck me, so it's why I'm posting. To be honest I have absolutely no idea if I know people who are happy in their relationships. I know people who seem to be very happy and working well together in all parts of their lives, but at the end of the day I think that it is just impossible to know what is going on within that space of 2, let alone what each partner within the relationship might be thinking individually. For example my BF in the US seems to have a very strong relationship with her H. They have a 2 year old, who they parent incredibly well together, and they really act like a team. They never fight (she tells me this), and agree on all of the basic values, have no major differences to overcome etc. She has told me though that they really don't ML anymore, which I suppose is a byproduct of having a toddler, and that they only talk about the baby these days. She is comfortable with this for the moment, and he seems to be too, but when she found out what happened with me and my H, she was shocked and a bit nervous, wondering if it would ever happen to her R. I can't say it never will, and I guess she has no true way of knowing whether things that she takes in stride are secretly eating away at him. I don't know exactly what my point is with all of this, other than the fact that we can't ever really understand the dynamics of other people's Rs, can't ever really compare our Rs to theirs, as there are so many unique factors in every situation. Could also be that a couple who fights all the time is in fact very happy and comfortable with the dynamic, and will make it to the end. OK that was me babbling on in response to your question...
Anyway it sounds like you are going to have some interesting decisions to make in the not too distant future. It is clear that the Piscean is back in the picture, in one way or another, regardless of the Leo. Maybe you need to have closure with him before you can move forward? I don't know, but I am looking forward to hearing about everything that transpires!
Keep us posted!
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
Hey ITH! Nice to see you here.. I know what you mean, everyone argues and moans about their R and people just are that way and its how their R is.. i mean..I have alot of people in crisis, talking abuot splitting, S or D.. so more serious stuff.
Anyway, ex just called.. I let it go to answer machine. He sounded distant, whatever, vague.. wouldnt be pinned down on when we would meet.. called me saying he was just about to head off to Wales.. so that would have given him minutes to speak to me. He will be getting blind drunk tonight. He did say he hoped I was having a nice weekend and pleasanteries. My Mum listened to the message and then she said.. "I'd tell him to p*ss off!" (ha)"Thats either extreme embarresment or he's not interested, its very dismissive..devoid of emotion". So I dont know why, but something has changed (again!). I called back 20 minutes later and he sounded 'gone', distant, said I dont know if you've got plans but we could meet tommorow or Monday.. but I dont know what I am doing really, depends how I am feeling in the morning " - well, I do have plans hey, Piscean plans, but I didnt tell him that.. so we spoke briefly, he was in the car and just said, he would call me tommorow and we would meet either later tommorow or sometime on Monday. When I said I think I am leaving monday, he said he would definetly call me tommorow.
I bet he went out on the town last night, with our old friends (his) and that makes me sad. The Cougar was probably out (remember her !??) - I was right about her.. she is now dating my ex's cousin, who is very similiar in build, temperament and age to my ex, but not as funny or good looking (but a lovely guy). BMF W also told me 2 weeks ago that "whenever we saw *ex* out with Cougar having a drink, there was no chemistry" - which means I was also right, he DID meet her for a drink a few times last year.
Funny how yuo get the pieces of the puzzle eventually, just can take years.
Hi there Ali - I hope you're managing to enjoy yourself back home in the midst of this turmoil!!!
It did cross my mind to suggest you letting your ex know about your ex-ex - but that would be mean - this must feel like a very difficult sea to sail on right at the moment.
Your ex is sounding more and more as if he has to deal with stuff in his own way and that must happen before any progress can be made...the thing is though - will you still be there when he has...I saw your post earlier about your assessment of the potential situation - and I think you're spot on - but you're not the sort of person who would want to hurt anyone - so that puts you in a tough spot regarding the ex-ex.
Nothing much to offer I'm afraid apart from best wishes...
Hey Simon! Yes I'm having a brilliant time thanks, feeling very happy, seeing people and its sunny! (and there are MUCH better shops here than down in Cornwall, lol!). Saw SIL earlier, she was very pleased to see me. Found out ex was with family all day and evening yesterday (Helen is not here), but yes I think he is working through things. I txted the Piscean about meeting up tommorow and I told him I had to see someone else and will explain and be honest when I do see him, yes.
Well, my ex left for Wales at 3 for his BMF birthday party... then wierdly he texted me earlier to say sorry that he didnt have time to talk to me earlier, that he would definetly call tommorow and that he hoped I was ok.. so he was clearly having a chat with BMF and thinking of me !! Wierd.
So.. he wants to see me tommorow. So does ex ex. OH DEAR GOD !!!
Thanks M.. well the Piscean texted me a few times this evening, VERY keen to see me tommorow.. said in one he was off to cook himself a curry.. at which point I told BFF I wanted to marry him, lol !
Ex wants to see me tommorow, probably late afternoon/early evening I would guess, as he will be hungover in the morning and then has to drive back from Wales..but anyway, I had already agreed with the Piscean I would go to his house tommorow by lunchtime and we are taking it from there.
So guys.. I have a date!! Eek.. feeling odd about all this, it isnt 'neat' - its not done with my ex, he still matters to me and I have been trying to win him back...so its messy and I do feel bad about it, as I wont tell him where I have been (IF I do see him tommorow).. but I will be honest with the Piscean, although my Mum thinks I shouldnt be TOO honest, dont want to scare him off! But my life feels VERY strange right now !!
I havent had a date since August 1996. Thats a LONG time ! Its not really like a date though and I wont worry about how I look, I can just be myself (but I am going to dress up and look nice!).. this is someone I have known and held a special place in my heart for the best part of 20 years. Exciting hey!
I'm off to bed early... I have 2 dates with the 2 loves of my life tommorow!! I need my beauty sleep ...I just hope this fake tan doesnt get any darker overnight, I already look like I havent washed for a week!
Good luck Ali! I think your thread may be the most exciting on the board at the moment :). I REALLY hope that you get some time to keep us posted today-though sounds like you will be/have been very busy. Looking at your posts, am guessing you are with the Piscean now or at least you were earlier?
ITH
Me:34 H:36 M:5 years T: 8 years Bomb: 07/17/08 I want to be separated for 6 months--I don't know what I want the outcome to be S 07/28/08-11/08/08 Living together ~7 months D Possibly busted?!?!!!
...I just hope this fake tan doesnt get any darker overnight, I already look like I havent washed for a week!