Link to previous thread. Well, for those who have been following the adventures of the intrepid Minkerman, things appear to have taken a turn for (I hope) the better.
To catch up, we have been separated 5 weeks, and plan to stay that way for at least another 6...so we are about halfway between separating and making a decision on our future as a couple.
Yesterday, she emailed me and said she would like to accompany me to a wine-tasting event that I had previously registered for. I took this as a good sign, as I had invited her 2 weeks ago and she had declined.
Well - we went, had an awesome time, ate, drank and laughed. Later, in the car, she said "I don't think you and I are done yet", and I said I was happy to hear that.
Then we got to her place, and she invited me up. Uh-oh....
Long story short, we ML for about 3 hours and she asked me to spend the night, which I did. it was so nice to spoon again and feel her breathing next to me.
Based on how the previous 5 weeks have been going, this is a bit of a step forward
I know, I know - she will probably panic now, and pull back. But I think these are all positive signs. More to come (I hope). Wish us luck.
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
I also think these are positive signs. Things seem to work best for you when you put out an invite and expect nothing and then let her make the decision. Congrats on the interaction. Keep strong.
I have a bit more time to write, now that I'm home from work.
We talked for a long time last night. There was no animosity or blaming whatsoever. She said, "it looks like we will be trying again, but this time if it doesn't work, we are truly done" to which I think I agree. But it will work. Because we have such a connection, and genuinely like and love each other. The big difference now is that we are communicating on a deep level. On the way back to her place, she then said "so when are we having sex?" in a playful way. I said "tonight"...and the rest is history. I thought she would back way off after that, but I've talked to her twice today and she seems fine.
I am hoping it wasn't just the wine and great atmosphere talking...although when people have had a few drinks, their inhibitions reduce and their true feelings come out. So maybe the wine talking isn't so bad.
She told me the reason why she changed her mind on accompanying me last night. She says she sees a new "passion" in me. She also says I have an "edge" that she hasn't seen in me for a long time. This is good information because that is exactly how I feel too. I'm glad she notices it, but I have made these changes for me.
So here's what has happened in the last hour.
I got invited to a Chef's competition in a major hotel today. It's for Saturday (tomorrow) night. Of course I said YES! Sounds like a total blast, 100 dollars a plate fundraiser, and I get to go for free. Sooooo.....I thought, in light of yesterday's events, should I ask W if she'd like to accompany me? Sure...she might feel pressure, but I need to find out where the boundaries are. So far, I am doing what appears to be working for our relationship.
She immediately said "sure, I'm in". So we have another date tomorrow night!
This is really encouraging, and I think that if we continue to gently walk this path, we will get a chance to work on "us" as a couple again.
Oh, and we are going to a hockey game on Valentine's Day...I promised her no cards or flowers, just beer and hot dogs....I think that's why she accepted
I hope this info is helping someone other than me.
As stated above - I am squiring W to a high-end dinner and dance tonight. I just called her to say I'd be by her place at 5:15pm to pick her up, since the pre-event starts at 6:00pm.
She said, why don't you come over earlier, like around 3:00?
See, you have to focus on the small things that show positive movement. She must feel comfortable and unpressured by the situation, or else she wouldn't have suggested it.
If I was a dog, I'd be wagging my tail!
Me: 54 Her: 50 and sexy as hell M: 32yrs T: 34yrs Bomb: Sept 26-07 "lost our emotional connection" Bomb 2: Dec 25-07 she's "not feeling desire" She asked if she could come home Apr 26-08! Everything's GREAT!
Thanks tree. I am going to think positive and project a confident, positive demeanor. You create your own future; the only way to get a positive outcome is if you imagine it happening, right?
I will post after this is all over. I'd be lying if I said I was Mr. Cool and Calm about this.
