All things work together for good...7

[Committed2Him]

All things work together for good...1
All things work together for good...2
All things work together for good...3
All things work together for good...4
All things work together for good...5
C2H...What are you thinkin'?
All things...6 One year anniv. of X leaving

Summary:

M 16.5
S 13, D 16 SS 25 (lives with me)
X files D 11/05
X moved out with kids 7/06 (I offered X the house but she declined so I bought her out. Immediately OM in the picture continuously)
D final 10/06
X Marries OM 5/07

The marriage was rocky for over 10 years. X had an affair with a different OM around 98/99. We separated for 6 months from 6/99 to 12/99 (I moved because of her hysterics and volatility) but got back together. After X moved this time, I attempted to "stand" for the marriage but since coming back to the board 8/06, I have slowly moved from vigorously standing, to remaining open to reconciliation to deciding that I would not reconcile (after it was very evident that X was moving towards marriage).

X and I have been Christians since before we started dating, X has asserted that God has given her permission to D and has paved her way to be with OM who is not a Christian.

My title comes from the Bible verse:

Romans 8:28
And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

I own my part in the demise of marriage but I believe my X had no grounds for marriage according to our professed faith and the teachings we held from the Bible. Yet, I still maintain that God will use this situation to work for His greater good.

Getting A Life
The transition from being devastated at the realization that OM was not "Just a friend" to "Standing" to "Getting A Life" and finally deciding I will not take X back has been an extremely challenging journey but God has provided the people, resources total support that I have needed including the people in this forum. My life has become increasingly full, an amazing adventure with blessing after blessing after blessing.

THANK YOU!
A huge "thank you" goes out to Michele for making this forum available for us DBers who tried and yet still wound up in this forum. An equally huge "thank you" goes out to the people in this forum who lend an ear, offer sage advice or a shoulder (or thread) to cry on. There have been plenty of very challenging times I have had to go through to this point and this forum and the people in it have helped immeasurably in bringing healing.

[Committed2Him]

So, as I was saying before my thread closed, off to church I was going.

Kids had a great time with all their friends. We hung out they with their friends, me with mine and finally left to take them back to the newlyweds place. The kids’ cousins were coming over and that left me free for the day.

To the beach and to the church
I shared with Lost that this also sometimes leaves me feeling blue so I planed to go to the beach to prepare for tomorrow’s men’s bible study I will be guest leading for the day. Afterwards I was to go to the shepherd’s school at my church which is for people involved in ministry (it is an informal sharing by the pastor of what’s going on behind the scenes and a time of fellowship with those people who are most committed to the church).

I could only spend about 2 hours at the beach but it was great! I got my bible, my Ipod and my favorite beach chair and settled in. The sound of the surf and kids playing was like music to my ears until I actually put music to my ears. I love all kinds of worship music and it was so relaxing to just sit, soak in some rays and listen to tunes.

I got my bible study done and was also able to do some journaling. I am sooooo blessed and I journal to remind me of even the little blessings. (ie, time was short but I found a great free parking spot in a residential area that led to a less crowded area of the beach. I left in time to grab a slice of pizza at a great place near the beach, hit the road and made it to shepherd school in time. After the pastor spoke, we broke bread and hung out visiting and bearing one another’s burdens. Much like hanging out here except face to face, hugs, prayers, encouragement and spiritual intimacy. I like so many of the people there who are equally committed, if not more, to the church than I am. But, there are also a good number of men that I really know fairly well and we truly love each other. It is always a good time when we get together and support each other. It was a great day!!!

[qoe100]

C2,
Sometimes it really is the simple things in life that make us the happiest. Glad you had a great day.

[Committed2Him]

Jillybean,

You said it! Hope everyone's Monday starts off great.

[qoe100]

How come you post in the wee hours of the morning? Are you a vampire?

[Committed2Him]

"vampire?" HA, HA, HA! Well, you know I did just come back from Romania and we did visit Transilvania (beautiful area by the way) and Bram's castle....

Jill, always been a late night person and I am on the "Left coast"

[BethM]

C2,

I hate to burst your bubble but we probably can't live together (pull yourself together) because I am a morning person. I love getting up before the sun comes up and going out with my IPod blaring. I only run into a few others out exercising at that hour but it's so peaceful and pretty. (glad to see that you recognize your place on the "left coast" so stay there at least until it falls in the ocean!)

I really did appreciate your description of sitting on the beach and just "being". The ocean is and has always been my safe harbor. After ex left and I started seeing my therapist weekly, to calm my nerve she would always hook me up to the BioRhythm machine and I would always envision sitting on the beach watching the ocean and listening to the waves break. It always did the trick......... The Midwest is a hard gig for an ocean lover!

Love,
Bethie

[ALL6785]

What's an ocean?

[Committed2Him]

After ex left and I started seeing my therapist weekly...

always the quick on the rebound eh? Didn't waist much time did you?

I hate to burst your bubble but we probably can't live together

quick, I need a therapist to date...

Ah, the ocean, or a river, mountains etc. There is so much to see and enjoy, we are all just too darn busy to enjoy it, right? That's part of what drew me to biking, slower pace, time to enjoy the scenery, what ever it happened to be. This has been one of the good by products of spending time alone, examining what I want to see and experience and going for it.

What's an ocean?

It's like one of those 10,000 bodies of water you have in your state, only huger. Often it's a pretty blue but very rare to find anything resembling blue around So Cal.

[ALL6785]

I guess I've been a bit deprived living in the midwest. I've never gone swimming in the ocean, of course on the bright side I've never been bitten by a shark either.