Before approaching your spouse with one of the many fight stoppers (all separate links) we’ve equipped you with, you will have a picture in your mind’s eye of the kind of reaction to be expecting from him/her. If your spouse responds negatively to your new approach, stop what you are doing immediately. It means you miscalculated the usefulness of the strategy. Even if you’ve followed my advice to a “T”, if it didn’t work, it didn’t work. Always remember that the proof is in the pudding.
Having said that, there is one thing you might keep in mind. Sometimes, an angry reaction is not a bad thing. For example, if you’ve been extremely cautious and walking on eggshells with your spouse and you’ve noticed that nothing is changing, you might decide to take a stronger stand. When you change directions, it’s entirely possible that your spouse’s initial reaction might be one of anger.
However, it’s also possible that a day later you might notice some improvement – s/he might be kinder and more considerate to you. So, occasionally, you have to continue to observe beyond your spouse’s immediate reaction to see if anything you’re doing is beginning to sink in .
The one thing to keep in mind though is that you should proceed cautiously with any new approach until you feel fairly confident that you’ve gotten a green light. If in doubt, wait.
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