One question I’m asked as much as any other is: “what is the average amount of sex in marriage“ Clearly, the question is asked not with the intent of gathering facts for the sake of fact gathering. Either the lower or higher sex-drive spouse wants to tell the other spouse that they’re asking for too much or too little sex. Although there is a national average for the amount of sex married couples have (approximately 1.5 times per week), this statistic should not be the deciding force for how much sex you and your spouse have.
Every marriage is unique, and therefore the right amount of sex will be whatever you will compromise on, not based on what your friends are telling you, or what you read in magazines.
In the video below, I give a full explanation on how to determine what the right amount of sex is between you and your partner.
Full Video Transcript:
Hi I’m Michele Weiner-Davis, founder of DivorceBusting.com.
Now today I’m going to answer a very common question: “how often should couples have sex?”
If you’re asking this question it probably means one of two things. Either you’re not getting enough sex or you think your spouse is a sex maniac and wants way too much sex and you want to get the facts so that you can set the record straight.
First, I’ll start by telling you the national statistics. I found that most couples have sex 1.5 times per week. Now having said that, I want you to know, unlike vitamins there are no daily minimum requirements to ensure a healthy sex life. What works for one person isn’t going to work for another. What works for one couple isn’t going to work for the couple down the street. If you’re married to someone who has a much higher or much lower sex drive, the point is to stop arguing about who’s right and who’s wrong, and to find ways to meet in the middle.
There are many ways to do that. Both partners have to be satisfied. Clearly, that won’t work all the time but if you aim for both people’s needs being met, over the long haul you won’t be having this argument about who’s right, and who’s wrong. You’ll find passion, and then you’ll find time together when you’re not being sexual, and it will be okay. Just don’t get into that debate about one person being right and one person being wrong. That’s the only mistake you can make.
