Resurrection Day 2007 HE is Risen & so it is time to Resurrect my threads on the DB board
With the change over to this new system I've lost all the links to my previous old threads - if anyone knows how to dig up the older stuff I'd appreciate instructions on how to do it
I've been around for a long time most it in the MLC section so I'm not really looking for advice when I'm posting here, it's more journalling at this point so that the Newbies can have some references as to what they might come across during their spouse's MLC due to the fact the Aliens will come up with some crazy stuff - but you can & will make it through this mess if you simply wait it out & get comfortable in LimboLand
I Thank God for Michelle's book & introduction to the whole concept of MLC & the world of Marriage help books of which there are many but hers is one of the best which is in the Secular Market & thats because she's writing from a modified Christian point of view so that she's able to reach the widest market of people without leaving anyone out she's using biblical principles in much of her way of addressing marriages without quoting the bible
Now a Re-Introduction since so many of those who knew me are no longer on the board here - I'm an Old Timer having 1st come to the boards back in late 2002 after finding Michelle's book Divorce Busting in the Walden Bookstore at the mall
My Hubby Byron is now 41 yrs old & is still in MLC but there's some light at the end of the tunnel
has childhood issues which along with his illness Sarcoidosis & drinking induced Diabetes & my daughter's being told to move out in the summer of 02 along with g-son who wasn't yet 2yrs old due to her teen-rebellioniuosness (which Byron wasn't prepared for their moving)
well Byron ran "back to the womb" so that he could do the Replay stuff which does get crazy & I won't even begin to get into -
if there's away to pull up all of my old threads & post them into one list so that people can read those early months -
it's the type of stuff that they make into soap operas except some of the stuff the directors wouldn't write into the script because they'd say "no one would believe this actually happened in real life"
2002 was the public begining of the MLC period of RePlay I can not stress enough the fact that reading the book once & expecting the marriage to suddenly turn around is just fantasy -
the books are like any college text where you are given assignments to do & it's important that you do those assignments to fully learn what to expect
most importantly how to act & get a life folks so that you're not going up & down while the train wreck which you're about to watch before your very eyes will happen & there's nothing you can do to stop it -
those who I've ended up counseling the 1st words out of my mouth is Accept the fact that there is Nothing which you can do or say which will end this MLC craziness today, tomorrow, next week, month or year even which will bring your husband home this year if he is in Replay mode & hasn't finished the Process you just have to wait it out no matter what comes out of his/her mouth or the actions how you handle this time will determine whether or not you'll Reconcile later
2003 things got wild & is when I found out about MLC from a few of the Old Timers of that time
I picked up the video & tape series along with the book Divorce Remedy which was offered as a package deal along with the phone consultation
I put a copy of the Divorce Remedy book over to my MIL's house so that she could read it & see what I was talking about but of course neither she nor my FIL or BIL/SIL bothered to read the book or bothered to point Hubby Byron to reading the book
Emotionally the family was a wreck with Prodigal Son going off for a short period into the Job Corps Rebellious Daughter & G-son being totally upset with all of the turmoil & Hubby Byron going through some major changes way off the deep end on the drinking & signing up for sex dating sites & the affair with the Poison Pu$$y Robin which lasted until she got married to the Moocher Joe of the Moocher Gang who are those losers who encouraged Hubby Byron to cheat so they could have the fun of drinking on Hubby Byron's dime
2004 I discovered Ebay & seriously started my library & research
Hubby Byron was still in serious RePlay mode Prodigal Son went into the Navy I was moved into a nice hotel from May until Mid Jan of 05
Sept 04 my dear G-ma passed away went to my 1st christian counselor who diagnosed me with Post Traumatic Stress & I started on Anti-Depressants to help with all the greif which I was experiencing
Oct 04 is when I found out that my incompentant medical doctor had been misdiagnosing me for over 2 yrs & Byron had given me Herpes from sleeping with the Poison Pu$$y Robin
Rebellious Daughter & I had some difficulites with my MIL Mary due her denial of the facts & her enabling Byron in his pursuit of RePlay & Self Destruction
A day or so before Christmas FIL Jim & MIL Mary came to the hotel room & we had a very interesting discussion for my FIL it was an eye opener as he was told Almost ALL that Byron had been doing & the fact that MIL Mary knew about it but denying it except that what she had planned as a 2 on 1 turned out to be 2 on 2 since my girl friend CM who's known me prior to marriage & has been involved in our family life all along was there as witness to events so MIL Mary wasn't able to OutTalk me FIL Jim was quite upset over what he was hearing
2005 was pure craziness & Roller Coaster on the MLC front Hubby Byron had to bring me out of the hotel to come live with him at My In-Laws's house it was a bit of an arguement 'cause he wanted me to stay on the 2nd flr rather than be on the 3rd flr with him - I told him it's not happening Althou it was the most horrible time it was arranged by God so that it could be confirmed to FIL Jim that contrary to what had been said about me by MIL Mary & Byron if I was being B!tchy, well I had good reason to be FIL Jim & I had a couple quick 1 on 1 discussions while both MIL Mary & Byron were sleeping before or just after FIL Jim was on his way to work during one of those discussions is when I found out that in Nov 04 he had put Byron out for about a weeks time but due to Mary's fussing, whining & nagging he allowed Byron back in the house
I ended up having to change christian counselors but they both had the same name
I got help with Boundary Setting
shortly after we finally got me an apartment I stopped going to that counselor since there wasn't much he could do to assist me when the "problems" in my life were being caused by people who weren't going to counseling so I just had to put Very Firm Boundaries in place with the family to get them into order which included speaking as little with MIL Mary as possible
2006 there was at 1st an increase in the RePlay behavior but it slowed down & by the end of the year
bsaically Byron got a reality check & started I think towards the Withdrawal & Depression stages & is starting to head out of the MLC tunnel
Part of that reality check was the fact that Poison Pu$$y Robin & Moocher Joe did in fact get married - for her it was the choice of the best moocher to suit her needs... moocher Joe was legally divorced with no kids & the ability to save money while dealing with Byron had resulted in public knowledge of her having herpes on the job plus the talk of the office since it could no longer be hidden after I had her boss & Byron's boss speak to the 2 of them about the fact that Poison Pu$$y had made it a company problem the day she called my MIL's house from the job in her attempt (march I think 05) to get Byron over to her house to party I called the job & told each one of them if she calls again then I'm sending the berlin police dept over to the job to have harrassment charges pressed -
that was the begining of the end of that affair when moocher joe & Poison Pu$$y robin tied the knot in oct with the bed of adultery being sold to byron to bring home to me was the reality check the affair was definately over that they really didn't care about him at all & were just using him for what they could get out of him
plus Byron's parents got on his case about the fact that he took out more payday loans... after they had paid off the 2 that were in progress back in 05
after the wedding Byron's health took a turn for the worse with his lungs finally being involved with the sarcoidosis to the point that even sex for him was out of the question simply going up & down the stairs had him winded & wheezing
In Feb 06 my Dad passed away from lung cancer & went to rejoin my mom who passed away while I was 15 yrs old since byron never bothered to ask how my dad's health was doing I've never bothered to tell him that dad passed Prodigal did hint at it this yr that Byron needs to ask about my dad but byron still as of yet hasn't asked
2007 has been a bit of a roller coaster of activity on the part of the family as a whole
Rebellious Daughter graduated from LPN nursing school & has started working as an LPN she's had a couple of set backs starting with having her new used car stolen but returned (we suspect the guy who sold it to her is the very same who stole it) an attempted break-in to her apartment as well as her car window smashed in a failed attempt to steal it by some teens
Prodigal Son came home on leave after christmas & stayed for a month which was nice to have him home but also a bit stressful since byron was hiding from the kids in shame i guess
Byron missed Rebelious's graduation so she was upset with him & then Byron blew off Prodigal's night to hang out as men so both of the kids were basically "Done" with him - thankfully they did all manage to reconncet before Pordigal's return to Japan
For myself in addition to trying to get this apartment into some semblance of order I've been going to Intercessory Prayer meetings since last year & Byron's finding that I'm not going to be home waiting for him to show up & I may or may not be at church when he shows up & he doesn't find the car in the driveway
Rebellious is going to give me her used maxima once she purchases the used ford explorer that she's planning to get so i'll be able to get out from the house a bit more the wagon was not fixed properly as i suspected might happen with the mechanic that byron took it to
Prodigal is in the middle of his 1st heartbreak but is not ready to apply DB principles towards the relationship personally the girl isn't worth the agony he's putting himself through but Byron told me that I've got to allow Prodigal to make his own mistakes & hopefully learn from them
I learned how to call Japan - 1st time I've ever called out of the country Byron was ok with that since I'm not trying to make a habit of it mostly Prodigal & I chat via Yahoo but my baby needed to talk with his mama
the other week byron & i had a big fight over the phone service daughter helped us to come to a bit of a compromise but last night i spoke to byron about my concerns although he didn't say a definate yes or no about it he did listen to what i was saying & i thanked him for allowing me to talk about my concerns the simple fact that i'm unwilling to "save money" should be red flag enough so we'll see how he decides later on this month
Well that is basically events in a nut shell Puter is only 1/2 working something is in it which is preventing the 3.5 drive to work even though both the drive & the cord inside has been replaced Byron's not sure what to do to correct it so I've not really done much to update my blogs since I like to have the pictures on it but once the problem is fixed or i get a differant puter over here i'll be doing alot of heavy duty uploading to my msn spaces site to get it updated with pics
I'm going to be taking some online training to become a better counselor unofficially i've been counseling others through this trial called MLC & Standing for My Marriage so now I'm going to be getting training to help me to do it more effectively
I'm starting to transplant the strawberries that I've purchased with the days getting longer & warmer I'm getting spring fever so to help me out I'm starting the strawberries in the small pots that i picked up last yr from walmart & i picked up a new bigger one this yr from Lowes i'll pick up 2 more small ones from walmart this coming week before they sell out since they're marked down
I'm looking forward to summer with the jazz concerts in the park something that I'm getting comfortable with is Being by myself at events no it's not as much fun as going with friends & family but since those people right now are too busy doing other things I'm doing what I can by myself both the fun stuff as well as the rest of the stuff that I'm physically able
I hope that your day was enjoyable as well as ReNewing Love Your Sister in Christ
Any day that we can get up open our eyes & breath is actually a Good Day but so many forget that there are many people who went to sleep last night who have not been so Blessed to wake up this morning
Thank You Lord for allowing me to be alive this day & for introducing me to so many of your children who understand the trials & tribulations of MLC & use me Lord as Your tool to help those who are coming behind me & are new to the workings of MLC & give me the right words to be able to encourage them & allow them to see me as an example that regardless of how hard things are in the natural You Lord do have things in control & that my testimony will encourage others that YES it is possible to get through this time even when we think that we just can't go one more step on this horrible path the the Devil is a Liar & while I may not understand why things are happening the way that they are in time You have always shown me the reason & just as You have done that for me You will also do the same for them so they too can Stand for their Marriage Vows & You will vindicate & convict as necessary so that when the time come for Reconciliation Your Name will be Glorified by a Marriage which had been termed as Dead by the world has been Ressurrected Through Obedience to Your Word in the name of Jesus I say Thank You & Amen
The following is part of the prayer request reminder notice that was sent into the yahoo group above - guys it's ok to send in prayer requests - this was taken from a women only yahoo group so it's set up listing only from that perspective simply state OM in place of OW
^^**^^** Below is copied from yahoo group **^^**^^ Any Prayer Requests feel free to send them in so that we can bring them in agreement before God in the name of Jesus
Copy & paste the form below & email the prayer requests to PowerOfPrayingWife@yahoo.com directly as well as the group here so that we can all lift each other up in prayers.
Be sure to send in praise reports as they happen to you & your family members so we cann give the glory to God in showing us how marvelously He works in our lives even today
Be sure to give First Name & Last Initial of any people such as the OW, family or friends & the state that they live in because each person/family listed gets a color coded card according to the prayer needs if more than 1 item is submitted on the prayer request form
*^*^*^*^*^* Copy & Paste Below *^*^*^*^*^*^*
Restore this Marriage/Family established in: Husband & Wife: Children: State & Country:
Deliver & Remove from this marriage All UnGodly Influences or Friendships: Deliver & Remove from this marriage & family any OW: Salvation & Conviction for the OW:
Deliverance from the following:
Bring to Salvation the following family members & friends:
Heal the following friends & family members:
Financial Type & Protective Needs: Other Special Prayer Needs:
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And since there are various autoimmune diseases where going on a gluten-free diet (the treatment for celiac disease) can cause a remission of the other autoimmune disease:
Seems to me, if his sarcoid is getting worse, he's got nothing to lose by trying a gluten-free diet. You can look at http://www.celiac.com for more info on the diet.
And since there are various autoimmune diseases where going on a gluten-free diet (the treatment for celiac disease) can cause a remission of the other autoimmune disease:
Seems to me, if his sarcoid is getting worse, he's got nothing to lose by trying a gluten-free diet. You can look at http://www.celiac.com for more info on the diet.
Ellie
Thanks for stopping by & posting the links on the sarcoidosis - I'll visit them & bookmark them for a later time when Byron's ready to deal with the information - right now his motto is so long as he can deny it then it must not be so - a bad ingrained habit that he's learned from MIL Mary
Actually Sarcoidosis is prevelant among young black men & women especially high in those populations who have been or are in the military (Byron was 1st diagnosed with sarcoid while he was serving in the Navy over in Iceland)
they have had no explanation as to where it's coming from since sarcoidosis is from unknown outside sources rather than being inherited as most diseases are but more people are starting to learn about the disease with the advent of the internet
those who are in their later years when they go into their history it's usually found that the people had been suffering from it back in their younger years but that they had been misdiagnosed by doctors who aren't familar with sarcoidosis & the fact that it imitates many other diseases depending upon those areas which are affected -
Byron is in the 2% group that when it's active it hits the bones & eyes while his lungs are showing clear so the lung tests that would alert most sarc patients never alerted for us -
in fact I'm the one who told the general practioner that what he was seeing on the xrays was most likely sarcoidosis rather than bone cancer which is usually a secondary cancer after cancer has already been in the body but typical doctor mentality is that patients don't know a thing doctor shashtri was insisting it was cancer & part of the hand would have to be amputated & of course he poo-pooed me for the research which I'd found on the internet even though it was from a college medical report that i found out the information about the stats on sarcoidosis & the fact that 2% of people get it in their bones & even saw xrays of what sarc in the bones looked like on the site
the orthopeadic & oncologist both said after the surgery that what ever it was it wasn't cancer that they were looking at so it most be "that disease that you were talking about 'cause it's not like anything which we've ever seen before a grey jelly like mass with what looks like sand in it"
You know the old saying about leading the horse to water but we can't make 'em drink... well that's been Byron since the sarcoidosis has come out of remission to stay since 01 when the above happened
the problem he's been in as much denial about just how bad he's actually making his own self - even after the docs have told him time & again that he's got to take his Rxs properly & live healthier... Byron was even threatened with being kicked out of the prestigious Remicade study which he was lucky enough to get into & so many sarc patients were wishing that they could've been a part of at the time
when Byron's ready to accept fully that he's got to eat & live healthy then I can once again start back onto his healthy diet, but alcohol for his body is one of the things which sets his sarcoidosis off on his body
I have no control over what he eats in terms of his diet while he continues to live with his mom so to worry about what he is or is not eatting & drinking I've given up on since all it does is give me stress over something which I have no control over in the 1st place, when Byron's home again is when it'll once again be my responsibility to make meals for him that will help Byron to regain his health but for now it's something which God will have to deal with
LimboLand can be liberating in that sense once a person comes to be comfortable there - a firm set of boundaries in place & as observer only Byron's got to handle his own messes & it's not my job to try to unravel the knots or pick up the pieces unless he invites me in to his domain of life it's only my job right now to be available to encourage him along on his road in life & to be supportive of him regardless of his choices -
it's Byron's job to learn from the mistakes that he's making & to deal with the issues that he has from the past it's my job to pray for Byron at this point & God's job to answer those prayers in His time & in His way... I've seen many prayers answered directly & others that I see are in process & in God's wisdom He knew that this time period although not what I wanted has been very much a time of growth as well as pruning for me just as much as it is for Byron
When this is over it'll be all to God's Glory not any human will be able to take credit for restoring this marriage just like the vision of the dry bones
well I need to get this post onto the board I started it last nite before I went to Intercessory Prayer meeting at church & left it all night & now need to get g-son & self out into the air & hopefully Daughter will be able to come join us in the park later on & bring g-son's bike out to the park so he can ride it around
I remember thinking that same thing back in 2004 about my 2002 threads - as we grow & learn then we grow & learn some more & what was sooo upsetting back then doesn't seem to even bother us at this point in time - really amazing the healing that comes with growth as well as the peace which comes as time goes by
it's kinda funny to realise reading in print just how much we've changed through this process when looking back at the old threads which contain our fears as well as our frustrations & just how much we didn't know at the time compared to what we know now
how many old timers are still out there lurking or active on the board still? do you go back & look over some of your old threads just to see where you were to how far that you've come?
Hi, MMH. Finally found your thread! Just stopping in to say hello...
Thanks for stopping by Hope that your day is going well Reminder to you = Post your thread here so I can check on it from time to time when they updated the system I lost all of my saved threads that I checked on in the past
Did you ever order those book & workbook sets that I has told you about... The Exemplary Husband author I forget & the Bondage Breaker author Neil T. Anderson
While reading a compliation of Watchman Nee's works I really had speak to me the word "God is waiting for You to cease doing! Once You have done this, HE will begin" It is basically what the saying Let Go & Let God is saying
When this happens it is then that we are given the peace to go through this time of trial & tribulation of our spouse's MLC not sitting on the curb watching in horror but on our knees giving Praises to God that we're watching this battle but knowing that in the end Victory is Ours in Christ & the Battle is HIS
This is why I call LimboLand "fun" because it's through the knowledge that God's got this under control so regardless of what things may look like I enjoy the simple fact that each day I wake up to be able to see the work which HE is doing with Byron & with the children & the rest of the family
YES HE does vindicate me as time has gone on - Oh I'm human so yes I do still get angry about somethings which happen or upset but the amount of time which I spend in those negative feelings is short - I get on my knees & ask God what is it that I need to learn from what I'm seeing or hearing or experiencing & to open my eyes to know what (if anything) that I'm suppose to do, many times I find that the answer is that I'm only to pray & let it go & watch
as I find the other old threads from the archives I'll be adding them here & hopefully will be able to post all of them into one post that I'll be able to copy & paste in the future as I start the 2008 thread next year & forward
The following is part of the prayer request reminder notice that was sent into the yahoo group above - guys it's ok to send in prayer requests - this was taken from a women only yahoo group so it's set up listing only from that perspective simply state OM in place of OW
^^**^^** Below is copied from yahoo group **^^**^^ Any Prayer Requests feel free to send them in so that we can bring them in agreement before God in the name of Jesus
Copy & paste the form below & email the prayer requests to PowerOfPrayingWife@yahoo.com directly as well as the group here so that we can all lift each other up in prayers.
Be sure to send in praise reports as they happen to you & your family members so we cann give the glory to God in showing us how marvelously He works in our lives even today
Be sure to give First Name & Last Initial of any people such as the OW, family or friends & the state that they live in because each person/family listed gets a color coded card according to the prayer needs if more than 1 item is submitted on the prayer request form
*^*^*^*^*^* Copy & Paste Below *^*^*^*^*^*^*
Restore this Marriage/Family established in: Husband & Wife: Children: State & Country:
Deliver & Remove from this marriage All UnGodly Influences or Friendships: Deliver & Remove from this marriage & family any OW: Salvation & Conviction for the OW:
Deliverance from the following:
Bring to Salvation the following family members & friends:
Heal the following friends & family members:
Financial Type & Protective Needs: Other Special Prayer Needs:
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