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I’ve discussed a lot of different methods recently suggesting how to approach your spouse. Whether you try doing something different , altering the medium of your message , or rely on actions instead of words , sometimes nothing is quite as effective as the self-fulfilling prophecy to “Act As If”. Below I outline exactly how you can implement this in your marriage. How to Approach Your Spouse – Act As If Problems often arise in relationships because people think they can pr

The proceeding 7 simple steps to saving your marriage are pulled directly from my book, “ The Divorce Remedy .” I’ve summarized the points to help get the wheels turning in your efforts to save your marriage. Step#1- Start with a Beginner’s Mind Buddhists believe that people should approach their lives with a beginner’s mind because in a beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in an expert’s mind, there are but a few. To be a creative problem-solver, it is essential th

The Medium is in the Message When you are trying to get through to your partner, there are many ways to do it. You can have a face-to-face discussion, write a heartfelt letter, e-mail or text message, talk about things over the phone, or send a greeting card. Many couples (including Jim and me) admit to having some of their most productive conversations over the phone. I often encourage couples to call each other, even if they’re in the same house! The point is, just bec

I know what you’re thinking , “Of course I have to complain, my spouse never listens.” If that sounds familiar, you may have been asking to have your needs met in the wrong way. In fact, lots of times people think that they are requesting a change from their partners when they are doing nothing more than complaining. Complaints turn people off and build resistance. They don’t spark a spirit of cooperation. I learned this firsthand in my own marriage. My husband, Jim, work