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It often strikes men between the ages of thirty-five and fifty-something. You think your marriage is decent. Oh yes, you realize that there are ups and downs, but you also know that no marriage is perfect so you don’t get too bent out of shape about it. Then strange things start to happen. You and your spouse are arguing all the time. he starts telling you that he’s unhappy in the marriage. In fact, he’s always been unhappy being with you. What about all of your fond m

Romantic dinners at candlelit restaurants, Godiva chocolates, two dozen long-stem roses, sentimental Hallmark cards- the stuff Valentine’s Day is made of. But what if your relationship is on the rocks and Valentine’s Day is just another painful reminder that your life isn’t what you hoped it would be? Then what do you do? I know, this isn’t exactly an uplifting topic, but the truth is, the vast majority of people in my practice are not exactly big Valentine’s Day enthusiasts.

If you practice these 10 steps with regularity, your marriage will become stronger than ever. Bookmark these steps, post them on the fridge, write them on your hand, get a tattoo! Just do what you can to familiarize yourself and your marriage will reap the benefits. 10 Steps to avoiding divorce 1) Spend time together The number one cause for the breakdown in marriage today is that couples aren’t spending enough time together or making the relationship a priority. Everything

While it is true that some people do experience immediate changes in their relationships, it’s also true that, in most marriages, change takes much longer . How much longer? It depends on many factors: the severity of the problems, personalities of the spouses, length of time people have been experiencing difficulties, each spouse’s level of motivation to do what it takes to make a marriage work, outside influences from extended family and friends, and the level of both par

Have you ever thought to yourself, “ Our relationship would be easy if it weren’t for you? ” If so, you will definitely need to read this two-part blog. It will help you enormously. Perhaps you have noticed that blaming your partner for things that go wrong doesn’t work all that well. I have rarely met a person who, when his or her partner points the finger of blame, replies, “Well, thank you for sharing that, dear. I will have to work on it. Does this mean that when things g

Your marriage is in trouble. You don’t know what to do . You want unbiased professional advice, “Can or should this marriage be saved?” So, you ask around and get the name of a therapist, someone who can offer impartial feedback about the viability of your relationship. Is there enough worth salvaging, or is there too much dysfunction, too much water under the bridge? Should you reinvest or cut your losses and throw in the towel? If, in your search for answers about your marr

The tips you’re about to read pertain to conflict-ridden conversations. I don’t think you need assistance making superficial talk or with discussions that are void of emotional content. Those are no brainers. Emotion-packed conversations are where we get in trouble. They bring out the worst in everyone. In keeping with the “ it takes one to tango ” spirit, when you change your steps in the dance of conflict between you and your guy, he’ll respond more sanely and your hea

Although future posts will include a step-by-step guide for healing from infidelity, I want to jump start you on the process in case you just discovered the betrayal and you’re eager to improve things between you and your spouse. Healing from infidelity involves teamwork; both partners must be fully committed to the hard work of getting their marriages back on track. The unfaithful partner must be willing to end the affair and do whatever it takes to win back the trust of his

Every once in a while I step back and think about the messages I give to couples in my practice, seminars, keynotes and in my writing. To be sure, I have been a psychotic optimist about people’s ability to survive whatever comes their way in terms of marital challenges. For example, my mantra when interviewed by media about the impact of infidelity is that it is by no means a marital deal breaker. In fact, I say, that when a couple is willing to do the hard work of healing fr