Marriage Advice: Take a Timeout – How to Stop Fighting [Video]

Michele Weiner-Davis gives insightful marriage advice on how to stop the routine of fighting with your spouse.

Want to be able to stop a fight in its tracks? Take a timeout. In the heat of an argument it’s difficult to keep your relationship goals in sight. By taking an intentional break, the time spent reflecting can help to calm your nerves. Michele Weiner-Davis lays out simple marriage advice to help couples establish a system to lessen the negative effects of their arguments.

Michele Weiner Davis is the creator of the Divorce Busting Centers, learn more on how you can solve marriage problems and stop divorce. Follow me on Twitter @divorcebusting, add my Divorce Busting Facebook Page, and subscribe to the Divorce Busting YouTube Videos for more advice and upcoming marriage saving events.

Full Transcript

Have you ever had a conversation with your spouse and things seem to be going along swimmingly when all of a sudden things start going downhill. Then they escalate downhill very quickly. Well I’m going to tell give you some sound marriage advice.

The first thing to do is to be able to recognize the signs that things are beginning to deteriorate. They start out constructive, and at some point things shift. Now ask yourself, what’s the very first sign things are going downhill? Is it that look on her face, the way she’s glaring at you? Is it the tone in your voices? The way you’re sitting with your arms crossed. Is it the fact that you’re no longer focusing on the subject, but you’re focusing on the past. What is it that makes your conversations really start to slip. When you notice what they are, talk to your spouse about them. Make a promise to yourselves, the next time you find yourself slipping into that hole, you’re going to take a time out. You’re going to signal to one another that your conversation isn’t constructive any more. You can do it by signaling time out, or some other sign that you both understand. You have to agree to honor it and to stop.

Although the roles can be reversed, it’s usually the man who says “I don’t want to talk about this anymore, let’s just stop.” Often his wife still pursues, the conversation goes on and eventually escalates. She’s pursuing because she wants closure, she wants solutions, but he’s exasperated. That’s a great time to take a time out. But not just to take a time out, to agree that in 20 to 30 minutes you will come back together again and you are going to discuss what you were discussing, but this time with a clear head. When women know that their husbands are willing to revisit the subject, the wife is willing to honor the time out.

You should really try it, it works, look for the difference a time out will make in your relationship.

About mwd27

Michele Weiner-Davis, MSW is an internationally renowned relationship expert, best-selling author, marriage therapist, and professional speaker who specializes in helping people change their lives and improve important relationships. Among the first in her field to courageously speak out about the pitfalls of unnecessary divorce, Michele has been active in spearheading the now popular movement urging couples to make their marriages work and keep their families together. She is the author of seven books including her best-selling books, DIVORCE BUSTING: A Step-by-Step Approach to Making Your Marriage Loving Again, and THE SEX-STARVED MARRIAGE: A Couple's Guide to Boosting Their Marriage Libido. Michele's work has been featured in major newspapers such as the New York Times, Los Angeles Times, Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Wall Street Journal, and magazines such as Time, Redbook, Ladies Home Journal, Essence, Cosmopolitan, Glamour, Woman's Day, Men's Health, New Woman, and McCall's. Michele is a marriage expert on Redbook's advisory board, and She has made countless media appearances on shows such as Oprah, 48 Hours, 20/20, The Today Show, CBS This Morning, CBS Evening News, CNN, and Bill O'Reilly. Michele's Keeping Love Alive program aired on PBS stations nationwide. She recently completed a reality based show for the BBC about helping couples save their marriages. Michele maintains that her true expertise in helping couples have great relationships is derived from first-hand experience. She and her husband have been married for more than thirty years.
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