Getting Back to my Old Self

[DonH]

DonH, I have always been honest with you, and I plan on continuing to do so, and I hope you don't get offended.

Oh, c'mon, I think you know me better than that, but thanks for being concerned. Absolutely not offended! I actually agree with much of it. I don't deny it. I'm not sure it's as severe or deep as you may think, but yeah, I don't want all the drama, i don't want to put in all of the work. I don't want to go to some stupid event that I have absolutely zero interest in week after week (once and awhile, sure, that's just natural). Yes! I want a casual R.

Now, that said, I think I am there for my friends and causal Rs more than many people might think. I also, got a glimpse that I can go deeper as I started to with Wild Girl. One thing that I have totally come to grips with is that after being without a true partner for over 12 years now, I will not walk away from the right person. I will know just how hard it was to find her. This past 12 years has really taught me the value of that. So I think it could possibly happen but I think the only way is very slowly, by happenstance, without me knowing it - in other words it just totally evolves and all of a sudden, five years later, it's like OMG, look at the wonderful R we find ourselves in. I just rarely find any woman: single, in an R or married, that I'd currently want that with. I just don't and I don't know how to change that. This is something I am going to try to start to explore in my next thread below.

So Ginger, I very much agree and accept what you are saying. I think you are somewhat denying what I said however. This is probably best for your thread but I think many of us see it. You very very much want an R. I think you would be thrilled if someone that you were in love with asked you to marry him after a few years. If you were not fully interested in finding a partner why would you be putting so much time, effort and energy into it? If you didn't want this so bad it would not upset you so much. You would not try so hard. IT'S NOT A BAD THING GINGER! There is nothing wrong with it. It's healthy. There is no reason for you to deny it - I'm just saying, it's not for me and that type of mindset is not a match for me. But we are in rather different phases of our lives. Perhaps that's why KML is far less interested in an R as well but has found herself in pretty much all ways being a GF and partner to CMM. I think if you'll dig deeper you'll agree with what I'm saying. It may take a year or so but I'm betting I'll be proven correct - and hope like all get out that I am because I think it is what will make YOU the happiest - I'm just not sure it's what will make ME happiest.

I admit I got a little defensive when Don totally discounted what he teaches mainly because he doesn't have credentials and was divorced. We all no that's BS because there are plenty of people with credentials that don't know JS.

That is not the only reason I discount him - only among them. But trying to say that credentials don't matter is crazy. That's somehow the world we have gravitated to. That's where fake news comes from - with people just making stuff up as they go along. But the fact he has no education in what he's portraying himself as an expert in is only part of it. He's all talk. It's totally a business for him and from what I can tell, he's making boatloads of money off of it. However, has it been tested? Has there been research into it? What is his end game? For one thing, while my first comment was indeed after only an hour or two of evaluating him, I've watched more of his videos than I care to admit at this point so it's no longer a first reaction. It seems to me like the total win, the end game for him, is to hook up with the girl. That's the goal line. Well, again, if that's what you are going for, far be it from me to say otherwise. But just as Dawn very well stated (thank you Dawn) while she would not want to follow what a sugar baby suggests, I'm not looking to be an alpha, pickup artist, hookup dude that "seals the deal" with a dozen different women a year. Yes, I obviously missed regular sex more than I even knew, but like is nearly always the case, the sex with Wild Girl got better and better each time. It was fun but more average the first one or two. It was after we "hooked up" a dozen times that it was something I didn't want to give up just yet and clearly want more of. That doesn't happen, well near as much, with casual dating. I'm sick of casual dating. It's almost as the thrill of the chase is as important as scoring. 25 years ago, yeah, I was there. At 55, I'm just not. It's gotten soooo old going through all of this.

Still, after all of that, I think this guy has some great points. I know I've learned and for certain reinforced some points from his videos. And you seem to get that it's just a guideline. That's the "art and science" part that I was talking about. I just really fear that Joseph is still at the robotic part - in fact I'm nearly positive he is. You just can't "see A and therefore do B" all of the time. It doesn't work that way. Since we are on the website we are, and I totally have no allegiance to MWD, but for example to compare her to this guy - there is just no comparison. This Coach is self-anointed, self-trained. He's best at what he does - and that's selling his books and services. He's a salesman - and a cocky, douchee one at that. He's one guy to get some information from - one of many. Anyone that makes him their number one source and head coach I think is going to be disappointed.

Since I'm sure this thread is close to being closed, It's time to move on so I can hopefully figure out what I really want and what comes next. Here's where you can find the new thread:

Here is my new thread