Jay love, you are doing very well to hold it together like you are. Our sitch are so so similar. Unfortunately we are screwed regarding the family home, it does need to be split in half. But there are way of doing this (in the UK) at least such as deferring the sale until the children are older if this is their main residence. This is something I am going to explore with my L if we get to that point, which now seems inevitable.
My advice for what it’s worth is be consistent for the kids and remain calm at all times as hard as it is. I know and I’ve slipped myself.
Thanks Uk Part of the problem is that W inherited a lot of money two years ago when her mum died and that has given her choices - she’s been spending it frivolously in the past few months as its likely that it will have to be put in the pit for settlement so we both can get a house close to the kid’s school. The believe nothing she says and half what she does saying is very pertinent as she says she wants what’s best for the kids but clearly trying to blow her money so I “don’t get my hands on it” isn’t going to ensure we both end up with a suitable house. I bought our house after losing my first wife, with a generous donation from my late wife’s parents. I stupidly transferred half the title deeds to current W two years ago and now, after she put in 50k towards our smallish mortgage, she can walk with 600k- how that is considered fair under U.K. law I’ll never know.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
Jaylove, you will have a good case to stay in the home until the kids are 18. Say you want custody of the kids and to keep them in their familiar home, it's close to the school and friends, and you have the flexible time to look after them and need your studio to work from home.
Jaylove, you will have a good case to stay in the home until the kids are 18. Say you want custody of the kids and to keep them in their familiar home, it's close to the school and friends, and you have the flexible time to look after them and need your studio to work from home.
I really hope so, i doubt it’s something that she’ll agree to in mediation - no doubt I’d have to get a court judgement agreeing that.
Last edited by Cadet; 08/13/1802:13 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
You live in the family home (that you originally bought). You are the main carer for the kids. You have flexible working hours working from home in a purpose built space. Your home is close to the kids school and their friends. W could afford to pay maintenance, you can't. Wife has already moved out and can afford to live elsewhere.
Last edited by Cadet; 08/13/1807:09 PM. Reason: Start a new thread message
In woke up at 2.50am and again just now at 5:20am - both times in a cold sweat after having had vivid dreams I really freaked out because my W’s actions have been very clear- she has filed for D three weeks ago and has moved out to a new rented house on saturday. I have been GAL - meeting old friends and spending quality time’s with my kids since they’ve come home from holiday, but the more stuff I read about D it’s clear my W is going full steam ahead with this divorce.
I’m so scared - I just can’t bear the thought that I’ve lost her.
Me:48 W:43, Kids:S19, S17, S10, S8 M:10 years BD:06-18-2018
I too had these moments Jay. But try to remember how you got here in the first place. Something wasn’t right. As hard as it is try to remember the Jay before the M. What was he like? Why was W attracted to you in the first place? You need to rediscover this person because he is a very nice person and lots of people would like to be with him. Get that inner strength going and confidence up. You can do it.
