WAW? Would Love Opinions. Thanks! Part 2

[TBSakaJ9]

I am toying with two on two off and then alternating weekends. I am in the process of setting up a share point calendar on google docs to track the activity especially with school events and soccer season starting.

If I had them for an entire week that would definitely impact my gal activities . I also don't know if my kids could stand not seeing my W for an entire week. They are young girls and they are really attached to my W.

[Btrow]

I have 3 girls aged 4, 8 and 10. Originally we had them monday afternoon to next monday morning. And then we had them friday afternoons for a couple of hours in the other's week. To help the kids not miss the other parent a full week.

It didn't work for the little one as she had major problems leaving daddy at the end of the friday visit. So I had the friday visits cancelled. When ever she visits daddy off schedule she still have problems leaving me. So for my kids a full week works best. Just fit your GAL'ing into it. Shouldn't be a problem. Im fact it's much easier.

[TBSakaJ9]

Thanks.......we will probably stick to a week at a time and see how it goes. So another question, when it comes to the kids activities do you and your W attend together, go separately, sit/stand next to each other? Just curious as school is about to start and with us being separated and me going no contact and really pulling back I am trying to get an understanding of the dynamics. Thanks!

[Btrow]

I can't advise you much there as I barely have any experience. There haven't been any school activities since very early in my sitch (one month after BD and before she moved out of the martial home) - more than six months ago - but at those two occasions we stood next to each other (XW bailed a third event one day after event 2, probably because one of the other divorced moms from D10's class flirted with her XH right in front of her, which she was clearly very very uncomfortable with LOL)

I don't go to watch them do sports when she has the kids and vice versa. Not something we ever discussed, it just turned out that way (my kids don't do competitive sports so there are not games etc. Just practice)

Don't know how it will be in the future. I have no particular urge to stand or sit next to her (and certainly not should she decide to bring OM....). Maybe I'll change my mind in time. BTW I'm sure you'll find posters here who does go to events together. This is just my situation. And I am ok with the way things are. And the kids never asked me or XW to go to the same event (they seem to understand the way of the world).

[Maika]

So another question, when it comes to the kids activities do you and your W attend together, go separately, sit/stand next to each other?

There are some kid activities where both of us would be there. I just plan on being there with the kids (as it would fall on days that I have the kids), and if she decides to come for the games or practice, she can do that. I am not going to remind her or anything.

I also got my police check done to go on field trips with the kids. My D was really heartbroken last year that neither of us could make it to the field trips when some of the other parents were able to - usually stay at home parents. So, I am planning on signing up as a chaperone for some of the field trips next school year. W doesn't know I got the police check done and I plan on doing it for my D and S. She wants to do it, she can go ahead and figure that out. My schedule is much more flexible than hers and so I can do the field trips.

My game plan is to do what I want to do and be there for the kids. She wants to join, she can do that, but I am not going to report to her what I am doing and ask her to join activities. If she wants to be there, then she has to figure it out.

[sandi2]

You are doing great, so keep it up.

[TBSakaJ9]

Morning everyone, man it was a hot weekend in Texas!! Not much new in my sitch, I picked up my girls from the W on Friday after work. I kept it short and sweet, she asked me how my visit was with my parents I said "good" and then she asked me how I was doing I replied "good" as well. I then said ok ,
safe travels" packed up my girls and left (she was flying out of town this weekend for a funeral). I didn't linger or elaborate any more. It was however the first time she has asked me how I am doing in quite some time.

I had my girls all weekend so we did a little shopping for school clothes, had basketball games and soccer practice. I was going to take them to a water park Saturday afternoon but my youngest had a birthday party to so that threw our schedule off since it was mid day. Yesterday we went to church and then out on the lake with some friends all afternoon, got home around 6.

I kept as busy as I could so overall I thought it was a successful weekend. My W returns from her trip late tonight so the next time I will see her is Wed for kid exchange. I am going to hit the gym after work tonight and then finish reading ..., I am on chapter 8!

[AnotherStander]

I am toying with two on two off and then alternating weekends. I am in the process of setting up a share point calendar on google docs to track the activity especially with school events and soccer season starting.

If I had them for an entire week that would definitely impact my gal activities . I also don't know if my kids could stand not seeing my W for an entire week. They are young girls and they are really attached to my W.

My brother and his ex did a 2 day/ 3 day schedule and it was an absolute disaster. Neither of them could keep track of what day their swaps were on, and the kids were pretty much living out of suitcases. Plus it was very hard for them to keep track of the kids' homework. W and I decided to go for every other week swaps with handoffs on Sunday afternoon. We knew a week was a long time for them to not see one parent, so we agreed that informally we would allow cross-visits during the week anytime the kids wanted (I say "informally" because we decided not to write it up in the D decree but just handle it with each other). We both went to all of the school functions so as it ended up it was pretty unusual for either of us to not see the kids at some point during the week anyway. It's 5 years later now and 2 of them are grown and out on their own, the 3rd is still on the schedule and I still firmly believe it was the best possible arrangement. Not saying it's best for everyone, but it worked well for us.

[OwnIt]

AS--Love when people who are divorcing can be adults about stuff affecting the kids.



New thread
http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2755359#Post2755359

[marina7]

Joseph,
Wow reading your story feels like I wrote it Wife did exactly the same only difference I didnt know about apartment until the BD....
And all I can say always go with your gut, when spouses change there is always someone else....
My story is under Midlife crisis... And we are a lesbian couple that adopted three kids and my wife has detach from Us even the kids, Wife goes dark for weeks no contact...

PM if you like we always need to vent...