Well Ginger, you're one of the reasons I stopped posting, so I'm not going to go in to details of her crumbs of recent weeks, other than to say, I'm not going to be used. I'm angry that she used my S's laptop for her sordid sex messages and photos. If you wouldn't be angry about that and react, hats of to you because you're a singularly better person than me. Jealousy? Let's see what prize he's won - a cheater, with enhanced boobs, who lies and is heavily in debt. Give that man a cigar!
Hi RD
No hurt, that happened to us an BD and I have been getting stronger in the past few months. Yeah, this is the push I needed to get a move on. I'm not going to waste my time on somebody who can disrespect somebody she supposedly once loved.
The exchange was productive for me. I was laughing at some of it. I know it won't have affected her, but now she has no reason to lie and I can now protect myself even better.
Reality is a kicker, but it is what it is. Posting? No. I feel it isn't productive anymore. You're right - I deserve better and my kids deserve better. I'm in no rush to met anyone, but if opportunity comes along, I'll be off like a shot! Cheers my Irish buddy
M 45 W 52 SD22 S9 D8 BD 6 April 2015 Not living together 4 Dec 2015
Hi Huddy , you sound really strong and that's great. On the dating thing , you will be amazed what lovely people are out there. On the posting thing , it can be helpful to get constructive and helpful advice on the journey at which ever stage you are at but obviously your choice. ( and I would love to hear about your dates and how you are getting on generally)
Hi Huddy, I'm so sorry your w has such lack of respect for herself, your son and you to use s's laptop in that way. Completely inappropriate of her on many, many levels.
I understand finally having enough and snapping. I've had my share with exh. I've also had a few times of not wanting to post here any longer.
Huddy, you've reached your breaking point, and while that's not what anyone wanted to happen, it does have its positives - you're ready to take another step in the direction of the rest of your life, whatever that takes you. In case you don't post again, know that I wish you the best and hope you change your mind and pop back in with updates to let us know how you're doing.
Wishing you all the best life has to offer !!!
xoxoxoxo
M 20+ T25+ S ~15.5 (BD) BD 4/6/15 D 12/23/16
"Someone I loved once gave me A box full of darkness. It took me years to understand, That this too, was a gift." ~ Mary Oliver
Well Ginger, you're one of the reasons I stopped posting, so I'm not going to go in to details of her crumbs of recent weeks, other than to say, I'm not going to be used. I'm angry that she used my S's laptop for her sordid sex messages and photos. If you wouldn't be angry about that and react, hats of to you because you're a singularly better person than me. Jealousy? Let's see what prize he's won - a cheater, with enhanced boobs, who lies and is heavily in debt. Give that man a cigar!
First, I would like to say I am sorry you felt that way. You could have just simply told me to stop posting to you and I would have absolutely respected that.
This will be my last post ever to you, and I encourage you to keep on posting and I will absolutely stay off you thread. I come here purely to help. I've been on here since 2008, this board has gotten me through so many moments and events I question I would survived as an intact person. So I stay to help. And in that time I have seen so much posted to others and remember what was posted to me and how everything played out.
I post to you the way I do, because I was right where you were at one point. Back in my day on this board there was no fear of breaking out the 2x4, and hammering hard. There was very little coddling. So I apologize if I seem so harsh.
I am no saint and I would absolutely be p@ssed if my ex was using my D10's computer for her sexual emails. At least I would hope he would log out of the account and be extra careful if he was doing so. My point is, were YOU hurt, or were you upset that your S could see those? Because if you were upset your son could see those, you went about this the wrong way. I say that because I used to do what you did. You made it about YOU and her cheating and you did not make it at all about son. If you really wanted to nip the issue in the bud because of your S, you need to make it just about that.
When I repeated the same cr@p over and over to my ex about what he did was wrong, what he is doing was wrong, that it is his loss, and all the stuff he's heard a bunch of times before, he tuned me out. I just sounded crazy and still attached to him. When I let all that go already, and if I had an issue with something he did that was in regards to my child, I had to keep it there and take the personal stuff out of it. When I began to do that, he began to hear me. He would communicate more regarding our daughter. It became peaceful between us. Some issues got solved with coparenting and he respected my boundaries more. Every time I would rehash the same thing over and over to him, he basically viewed me as pathetic and tuned me out. It look a lot of beatings from people on tis board, but it worked! And when it worked, I found peace, detachment and the ability to move on. I continued to treat and conduct myself with respect. It was when the true shift in me began. I am so thankful for it.
As far as the crumbs? All ex's throw crumbs because they want something. Because there is something to be gained on their end. They know you will gobble them up and they get what they want. We can't control that. We only control what we gobble up. So whether or not she is throwing crumbs at you is absolutely irrelevant. It's what you do with them that counts.
Like I said, I post to you what I do, because I have been where you were, I have done the same things, and some kind yet firm posters showed me what I was doing, how I appeared to him, how I was ineffective in reaching my goals of solving problems that involved the child if I made it about me and what he did. How I was never going to love on if I didn't truly let go.
But I absolutely will never post to you again if that's what you want. I don't want to be the reason you chose not to come here for help.
