Haha. Tacoma World. Yes, its a truck forum, but in it we have a chat going. Currently there are roughly 20 - 30 there, although not all are on the same chat. We refer to ourselves as the DB misfits. Great, great group! Look me up - SpacemanSpiff and shoot a message. We will go from there.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
Jeep, advice please!! I talked to my sister a bit more tonight. everyone in my support circle thinks he is cheating. They think he's more conflicted in his mind because he's got another woman and he doesn't know whether to break everything off with me, his "comfortable life" for the other woman. I have to admit, even though he doesn't have much time to cheat, It has crossed my mind. If that were the case, there would be no 180ing, I'd be done. That is a deal breaker for me.
Should I confront him? ask him straight up? I know he could still lie to me, but my sisters literally want to follow him around for a few days, they are concerned for me and want the best for me. I'm conflicted about it. of course I want to know, without having to snoop. I would want him to come clean. I would not allow myself to go through any more of this if there's another woman.
Sun, that's a hard question for us to answer. Think that's one you need to decide for yourself. I'll tell you that after BD I did snoop and found a bunch of stuff between W and OM. Very explicit stuff. Not pleasant to find and it really had me off balance for a while. I snooped bc my gut told me something like that was going on. Finding confirmation of it really sucked though.
i say all that to let you know that finding something like that out will crush you for a bit, regardless of how you think you may feel about it. dont make the decision to actively pursue an answer lightly. I'd offer that you will get no comfort from any answer your H will provide. If he says no, then you will still wonder if he's lying. If he says yes, then you need to be willing to bail if that's a deal breaker for you.
In my situation I needed to know what I was up against. I'd thought W cheating on me would be a deal breaker, but when push came to shove I swallowed my pride and decided I'd fight for my family. Don't be surprised if it's not so black and white if you get an answer you don't like.
I know how hard it is for you right now. We've all been where you are. Jeep has excellent advice in his posts through your thread. Keep the focus on you and let this thing play out. Get that punching bag and beat the crap out of it! We are all here for you and know that you will be ok! Hang in there!
Me39 M11 : T13 D9 BD 5/31/16 In House S until 6/21/17 Divorced 10/5/18
