Hi Cherry - yeah - they have their own warped view of reality don't they.
Is his mum still living with you? Is she doing OK? Is she the reason why he still stops by? Ideally you would have advance notice and a schedule for him to see the kids.
Do you both attend the same mosque? Can the imam help sort the realities of the religious divorce out? I know very little about your faith despite one of my best friends being Muslim.
To answer your question of trying again - think back to the marriage you had. The good and the bad. For those of us farther along in our journeys, many of us realize we're better off alone than where we were. If you were to try again you know full well that it would be HARD. Do both of you have the strength to face that? It sounds like he's selfish and rather lazy and that he probably doesn't.
(((Cherry)))
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Please start a new thread and link this thread to your new one and vice versa. Many thanks!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Hi Cherry, I remember your updates from last year. It sounds like the legal divorce was a big step and you made it through that. Congratulations! If your ex-husband wants to try again then it'd be great if he wants to work hard for many years to reform himself and prove himself to you again but it sounds like you're right, that he doesn't want someone else to have you, and he probably also does realize his mistakes and what he's losing but maybe he's too proud to admit that. I'm glad you took the time to post your update for the rest of us. Please keep us posted if you can.
Guys, thank you all for the support. I’m aware i need to start a new thread so will do. Just to update, my ex is still very much the same guy. He apologized in a sense, but i have a feeling that was just so he could get sex. He didn’t get it. He dips in and out of the kids lives and is still very much unreliable.
I’m slowly dipping into a new relationship. We are taking it slow but still having a date or two a week. I do not intend on introducing the children to him until we are certain we will be a thing (dating isn’t a thing in Islam, it should go straight to a proposal) we face potential problems here as he is of Bengali decent and me of Latina. Still, we’re adults- and i know whatever my ex will throw a spanner in the works either way.
I do feel as though his “the divorce is not final” is just a last minute attempt to try and maintain control. But this has been 4 years of trying to control me and treat me as though I’m worthless and i refuse to partake any more.
Can i just put out to anyone new joining, if it is truly over and you’re looking for hope- i thought it was never ever possible to move on. But when the time is right and you least expect it, someone may just change your thoughts. If you don’t believe me, check my earlier threads!
Right, on to a new thread!!
Me 26 H 25 M 4 T 5 Baby born 4/14 BD: 1/15 EA: 2/15 PA: 4/15 reconciling: 4/15 ILYBINILWY- 11/15 ILY-1/16 ILYBNILWY 4/16 ILY 6/16 ILYBINILWY 6/16 Baby due 3/17 BD 8/16
