Kay A, this sounds very much like my situation. For me it's been two months and I'm really having a hard time detaching. He does have OW in his life, lives with a roommate, but also likes to come over when he sees the kids and mows lawn, washes my dishes, does his laundry, etc. I changed the lock to my bedroom and he was so hurt and angry. I told him I needed my space in our home since he has key to our home and when he visits boys, he uses his key. I explained he lives somewhere else and I don't have access to his private space. He understood just wished I had told him before I moved his clothes out of the marital room. It's hard but I'm willing to do the homework of detaching but loving from afar.
Kay A hasn't posted in 11 months. I hope she is okay.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
and i hope she's ok too.