I cant drop my guard, last time i did she went cold turkey and wanted to move out again.
I don't have any more insight than you do... Finding the pursuit/distancing dance just as confusing as you even though it's an expected part of the script.
I suspect a big part of it is just that the WW is generally even more messed up emotionally than we are. And while we here slowly gain the benefit of introspection, increased detachment and great advice, the WW just keeps falling back to their same short-sighted patterns. No introspection or personal growth needed since everything wrong in their life is someone else's fault.
Me, WW - Upper 30s BD - Apr 1 2016 EA - Apr 7 2016 (discovered; ongoing for months; did not confront right away) Confronted wife about EA - May 17 Wife sent NC email to OM - July 11
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
