Hi Sotto and anyone else reading along.Good questions! I've been busy with work this week but also I've been thinking them over too. Looking back briefly over the history of W with OM there is no reason to think that she will come back. It isn't something which has happened over a short time. Her psychologist said she was obsessed and I don't think that will change anytime soon. To leave her husband and son was a big decision and she's determined to make it work (her own words). As for her parenting, it was always something which she tended to do when other people or family were around.She had no real idea of what to do with him when he was young. Her psychologist suggested too her that she had father issues, explains why she is with a guy twelve years older! The day to day parenting was always secondary to her personal development, depression, work, affair etc throughout his formative years. Would she be any better now? No but son is used to her parenting style and has no great expectations of her which is sad but realistic. So now what? Reading back over my posts and talking with a friend I feel that I'm still grieving for the R with W and that it is difficult to deal with when the "corpse" keeps reappearing every now and then to remind me what I loved about her and find difficult to let go of totally, although we've only met face to face 4 times this year. I have never seen W with OM, maybe that would be the cold hard shock to the system I need. I don't know. I've tried to keep out of the friend zone for now, as I think W would be delighted to have my company and the OM. Cake would be well and truly eaten. What do I want for myself and S? Well, when W left (a week before S's fifteenth birthday) I was very clear that I'd stay in my town and job until S finished school and we knew what his next objective would be. I've tried to give him as much support and normality as possible in these difficult teenage years. I have no long term desires for myself. I've foucused on my work, taken on new challenges and things are going well. I like working as it takes me away from too much self relexion and soul searching. I'd like to meet someone eventually but not at the moment as it wouldn't be fair as I still have W in my head. I'd like her not to be there but,living in our house and in our town, the memories are all around. People say these things will pass with time, I hope so but for now I still see her in my dreams and nightmares. I'm going out with workmates tonight so that will be a nice change of scene.
Last edited by Cadet; 11/28/1606:05 AM. Reason: Start a new thread message
