So the other day my W came home and cleaned witch was a huge suprize she hasent done anything around the house in months and always is saying she don't want to be here or she don't live here but she comes and goes as she pleases. Anyway then today she left the house a complete mess called me to say sorry she didn't have time to clean it up before work she had her sister over with her kids and they always go crazy with our sons and make a huge mess. But also she left me a list of things to do I laughed when I seen that. I don't know what she is thinking or trying to do. I think I should just ignored it and continue with my business as usual I don't know.
Me:31 W:32 T:4 1/2 Y M:2 Y C:2 together 2sons 3 and 10 months 2 from her 2girls 13 and 10 Confirmed PA/bomb droped 3/2016 Agreed to S(not legal) 4/2016 Trying to hold it together and be strong
Its your house too. So keeping it in tip top shape wont hurt you. If you are lucky the OM is a slob and she will compare him to you.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
ya i been trying keep my house as clean as i can and been working out in the yard to get the gardens looking good im very proud to own my own home and want it to look good. i asked her today why all the sudden she wants to help out and try to leave me notes to do things and if any thing had changed she said today that she is just coming back to take care of the kids witch is a good thing i could use some help there and for the past few months she has left me to figure it all out on my own. and also she said she is going to work on things with me but that dont mean she has stopped seeing the OM and that she didnt want to lie to me about that. i dont really believe her about working on things i want to tell her it dosent make sence why she would work on things with me and still be seeing the OM and i want to tell her that if finaly got to a place were im feeling better about my self and am willing to accept that or marriage may be over and that i know things wont ever be the same as befor wether we stay married or notbut that i still want or marriage and if she wants to work on things she needs to stop seeing him and that im not willing to be a second choice or just friends or roomates but im just not going to say anything more to her about it just leave it alone for now and see how counselling goes tomorrow.
Me:31 W:32 T:4 1/2 Y M:2 Y C:2 together 2sons 3 and 10 months 2 from her 2girls 13 and 10 Confirmed PA/bomb droped 3/2016 Agreed to S(not legal) 4/2016 Trying to hold it together and be strong
i dont really believe her about working on things i want to tell her it dosent make sence why she would work on things with me and still be seeing the OM and i want to tell her that if finaly got to a place were im feeling better about my self and am willing to accept that or marriage may be over and that i know things wont ever be the same as befor wether we stay married or notbut that i still want or marriage and if she wants to work on things she needs to stop seeing him and that im not willing to be a second choice or just friends or roomates.
Hey. Im not sure what other people stance is but i would tell her exactly what you stated above. Just dont come off all angrily and attacking. Stick up for yourself, your beliefs and your M. Dont be a doormat, but dont go off the rails either.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Read Sandhi's rule for wayward wives. Do it. Follow it.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
Me31 W31 M11yrs S6yrs 23Mar16-BD 9Apr16-W admitted EA w boss. 27Jun16-W Changed job and promised NC w OM. 14Jul16-Continued contact w OM.Start of Separation. 24May17-Divorced.
I agree with Natus. A wife who has run out and dumped her husband and children time and time again to go out and spend time with some stranger has to re-establish trust as part of working on the marriage. It's a prerequisite.
You should tell her that to work on what you need to, you first must work on trust. You aren't an insurance policy, you are her husband and the father of her children. You are first. You may want to scream this in her face, but obviously you must do so in a composed and calm manner. You have dignity and you respect yourself.
Me: 35 W: 32 S: 4 T: 6 M: 4 Physical Separation official: 5/21 Currently: DR/DBing, Focusing on me and son
Cheating on a good person is like throwing away a diamond and picking up a rock.
