Blindsided and Lost

[Nate14]

I hear you Mowgli. I was careful not to talk to much about anything legal wise and just keep the conversation on what the WW is doing etc. nothing incriminating or divulging of info. I still would like to keep lines of communication open with the SIL. We always got along, but I do know family is family. Hopefully by when legal matters are all said and done I can have a friendly relationship with SIL, but I am keeping this close to the best for now if it is important info.

[Mowgli]

How you doing, Nate?

[Nate14]

Well after months of in house seperation, We both have finally settled and we are signing the seperation agreement. My soon to be ex wife is still carrying on with OM and they are so in love and he is the man of her dreams. The texts I see between them make me vomit. its like 2 teenagers in love. She is buying me out of our house and she says it will be there house. I feel bad for my children cause it won't truly hit them till im gone which is only a few weeks away at most. the kids are 6 and 4 and they do know that I'm moving out. I have told them I'm getting them bunk beds, so my 6 year old boy is excited about that.

I've been doing well on a personal level, i go to the gym 3-4 times a week. lost about 40 pounds and in better shape and thinner then when i got married 8 years ago. So from my point of view, its her loss. I truly hope i get to see this vomit inducing relationship of their's fail but that is just for my own sadistic pleasure. really though i've become so detached anbd disgusted by her that I wouldn't want her back even if it failed.

Looking forward to my new start in a new place, just thought i would update everyone that helped me during my low period. I would like to think this affair would fail but it only seems to grow stronger over time. although the two involved seem very immature and obviously need each other to self medicate their own unhappiness in life. not sure if I'm truly detached, i think the final step of getting out will eliminate any thoughts of us altogether and will be free mostly from her and her stupidity. We have our kids which she is bringing around the OM already and this whole circus is hers to deal with. I've washed my hands and will only go as far as to take care of my children and hope she does'nt mess them up to badly.


Anyways, thanks to all that read this and took the time to respond to me in my time of need.

Thanks

Nate

[Nate14]

It's been a while but I thought I would give an update as to how my situation is going. We finalized our legal separation and I moved out last September. The other man moved in pretty much the same day I moved out. we only communicate through text about the kids and I have a lot of anger these days. After 14 months I have pretty much lost hope that we will ever get back together. She was free to file the divorce as of March that was the one year waiting period. Here we are in May and I haven't heard or seen any papers for the divorce. Although I don't plan on proceeding with the divorce myself it will be up to her, not sure if it's because of finances or something else. I get the kids one week on one week off so that is good.

At this point I have no idea how to approach her since there is another man living in her house. I'm pretty much no contact except for when it comes to the kids. She seems to have gone no contact as well. After 14 months I have zero to little hope that things will ever be the same. I thought I would update my situation because so many are looking for answers early on as I was. Mine is not a situation that seems to have worked out in my favor at least for my marriage. Life looks different but that's OK. I had really thought that by this point she would've come to her senses. It looks as though she won't be looking in the rearview mirror.

[leahsue]

Hi Nate,
Sorry your marriage didn't work out, but it sounds like you are doing OK, which is really the goal for all of us here. You sound like a great dad, and I think your kids are lucky to have you! Hang in there and keep checking in. It's always good to hear from people at different points in this journey.