I will echo it and I am confident this simple formula will keep you and me, and all that use it sane, help with our healing, and prepare us for better days ahead in any relationship we may be a part of.
Have a peaceful evening and know that you and your family are in my prayers.
Me 46 Former W 46 D19 D7 BD Feb 2016 WAW moves out 4/16/16 D final 6/1/2017
It's time for me to start changin' the way I look at the world......and at myself. ~James Howlett aka Wolverine
For some reason this evening became very tough. At one point I was convinced that I wouldn't make it through this. However, now I'm in a better frame of mind. When boarding this roller coaster please secure all loose objects!
Tonight I will see my W when I visit the kids. Each time this has happened there has been tension. Partly because of me - I'm angry - and partly because of her, she is irritable and moody. I don't want it to be like that. What I want to do is give her a nice greeting and a hug. Why? Because that is who I am. I want people to know that I genuinely am glad to see them. Even my W, who has hurt me and our family, is someone that I like seeing, albeit in tiny doses at this point.
Part of me says this isn't a good idea because I know my wife wants to eat cake. She wants this D to go smooth, so she can feel less guilty. She appears to be thinking only of herself at this point. Why should I help reduce the guilt?
Part of me also looks at LRT methods and I feel I shouldn't be too engaging. Also, part of me thinks acting this way would be a 180 and she would really take notice.
Each time this has happened there has been tension. Partly because of me - I'm angry - and partly because of her, she is irritable and moody. I don't want it to be like that. What I want to do is give her a nice greeting and a hug. Why? Because that is who I am. I want people to know that I genuinely am glad to see them. Even my W, who has hurt me and our family, is someone that I like seeing, albeit in tiny doses at this point.
I think their is no reason to be ANGRY. That is on YOU. So the only way that you will not be angry is if you hug her and give a nice greeting? Not sure that is a great idea, but not being angry is also a good strategy and I think you should focus on your children and how you portray your image to them. Certainly you are not angry at them, Right?
So you need to detach from all of this. Go visit your children, fake not being angry if you need to. Skip the small talk with your wife and the hug. It is pursuit and not part of this deal.
Oh, and please start a new thread as you are over 100 posts, and we can discuss this there.
