I'm brand new here

[CWOL]

Oh, and the consultation I set up with the one highly rated local lawyer isn't until 3/30!

Probably not soon enough, right? Sht.

So do I just take any old lawyer that can see me on short notice? This so s*cks.

Explain your situation to the highly rated lawyer and see if you can speak to him sooner. If not, ask around for more recommendations. You should always interview three lawyers before choosing one, someone you feel you can trust and work with. There are a zillion of them out there.

[Phoebe]

I guess I just wasn't absorbing the whole picture of information. What i guess I hadn't seen mentioned much was talk about protecting finances. My own oblivion/denial, obviously.

What I called BD in my signature was him asking for 'time apart, that it would be for weeks even though he missed me,' not him saying he was done. Did I mislabel my information? Sorry if I misused the term.

The messages I got in emails were "My biggest goal for 2016 is to work on our marriage." Things like that and some hedging comments, but not a single flat out negative statement. He never said anything like "we are over" until Monday on PA discovery day, and even during that talk he backed off his level of certainty pretty quickly. When I left there, he was taking a couple days out to think about his interest in working on things or not.

I have not gotten any D papers from my H. I'm not a bridge burner, hence my reluctance to start D proceedings, and I am unsure how a lawyer can help protect me in any other way that by starting the D I don't want. Am I missing something? Beyond real estate transactions and setting up a will, I have had zero contact with lawyers in my life, so I'm feeling pretty flat-footed on the subject.

[Painter]

I know you're on page 11 so you may have the thread locked soon - but I would probably work in different directions simultaneously: - See if you can get a short phone consult with a L to see what the options are - try to find out what H is thinking about the situation (it sounds like you did) - see which bills are the most urgent and which can be delayed - see if there is temporary work to be had anywhere for some quick money.

I feel like he's really deceived you and is stringing you along, and I would personally be far more aggressive in protecting my interests. That's not the same as burning bridges.

[Phoebe]

Thank you for pointing out that protecting myself isn't bridge-burning, Painter. I will definitely get on the L thing again tomorrow.

I agree with your assessment about the stringing me along with deceit scenario - like he's waiting to see how the new life works out for him before he's ready to cut me out of the picture.

[CWOL]

Depending on your state, you may need to initiate divorce proceedings, or it might just be a legal separation period (which is what your H imposed on you unilaterally anyway). You should talk to a few L's just to get a feel for them, don't sign with the first one you meet. A good L will be able to help protect your interest.

[Phoebe]

Thanks, CWOL.

Crazy that I need to get started on a Friday, huh? I am so far behind.

[Phoebe]

Well, this thread is getting long, so here's a new one.

Sorry for the crummy title. I had intended it to be a general discussion about financial stuff, but it got specific to my sitch immediately, and now I'm stuck with it.

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2663538#Post2663538