Wow Mleigh. Just caught up. You've already received great advice from Job and 2Times2Many.
But, your h's comment that he doesn't know how to overcome what you are teaching?!? Make sure you don't listen to that for one second. You are a really good mother and don't let them take that away from you.
I am really sorry. I know it is easier said than done, but try not to let it ruin the moment for you today. Thinking of you.
Me 41, H 47, M 15 yrs, S11, S13 BD 1: 11/4/14 we work on it; really I pretzel myself BD 2: 3/31/15 H goes down to "dorm room" 8/15: H back to MBR 10/15: H back in dorm room 1/18: H files, now divorced
Hawho, I was wrong, the comic is about a balloon and a cactus. The balloon is rolling towards the cactus so the cactus yells, I'm going to kill you...it's a warning not a threat. So like you said, H was a bit overboard being concerned about that. S is not violent, he doesn't hit, he doesn't yell and he is very kind to animals and his friends. But I do keep him away from violent movies and tv shows. H needs to get a grip.
Job and 2times, great advice. MIL has a real hold and influence on H. I went for a 2 1/2 mile walk with my girlfriend this morning and had a good talk. It really cleared my head. This is where I am at:
I will keep this simple and keep it about our son. Yes, I am lazy on chores with him, just easier to do myself! But it's time to get better about that. I plan on getting a plan in place with H, so we are consistent with him in both homes.
As far as MIL, if she comes up, this is the truth and what I will tell H......I'm sorry she gets into his head the way she does, but I will no longer play into that dysfunction. That all belongs to a life that I am leaving behind me, because I have moved on. We have all had to deal with big changes and adjustments, and a new transition is happening with S. I can understand MIL fear of her grandson not wanting Grammy day anymore, but it's not me. This is his choice and they are the ones to work on that.
You guys, I feel FREE! I read those text messages from last night again and I am so proud of myself. I stayed calm and nice. As H was taking stab after stab at me, I did not say one mean thing or throw one single thing at him. Not one!!! That is huge and I really like the way I handled it. I just got this overwhelming feeling that they can't touch me anymore. So FREE!
I went to pick up S, singing the whole way. I stayed upbeat and happy. H said to let him know when to get pizza, I told him will do with a big smile.
I got this
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
