Really need to stop torturing myself. I went back and started reading all the old emails and chat messages from when my wife and I started dating. It's amazing how much we were lost in each other and in love. I wish I could pull her into my lap and read these with her and reminisce. I wish she could just read these and realize how foolish we both have been and go back to the way things were.
Not feeling great about things today. My wife is much colder than she was yesterday... Definitely angry with me and it feels like we went backward. At what point do we begin chipping away at the anger and resentment rather than making it stronger? Not feeling very hopeful for a reconciliation today.
M: Late 30s W:Late 30s S: 4 D:2
Known: 19 Together:8 Married:5
ILYINILWY: 8/2015 EA: Confirmed 9/2015, Started 8/2015? PA: No evidence, W Denies D: Planned for Spring 2016
Really need to stop torturing myself. I went back and started reading all the old emails and chat messages from when my wife and I started dating. It's amazing how much we were lost in each other and in love. I wish I could pull her into my lap and read these with her and reminisce. I wish she could just read these and realize how foolish we both have been and go back to the way things were.
You know, Cole, I am guilty of the same thing. I have all our old emails and texts and I can't tell you the number of times I have gone back and read them. Heck, I still have the card she gave me for our anniversary last year - and it was the most loving thing I have ever read. Imagine that. I finally realized how much I was hurting myself by doing those things. Do I have a broken moment where I relapse and go back and read them? Sure, but those come fewer and farther between.
Its tough. This is the hardest thing I have ever been through and there are days where I just fall into a deep, deep funk. However, I am finding now that as much as I love my wife and want this marriage to work out, that I am becoming more fine with things - whatever that means. I just want her back. Maybe one day she will see it.
There are moments in this life when you are so confident in the rightness of your actions, that not even for a second do you consider the option that you might be wrong.
