Thanks V. I was thinking along those lines, so replied the following:
"Nothing new. I know it's hard. I'm struggling too."
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
So I'm hoping that buys me a few more weeks. But at some point soon I am going to have a new job, with regular income, and it's looking like substantially more than what I was previously making. If anyone has advice on best way to handle the financial discussion in the best DBing way possible, I'm all ears. Legally, I can play hard ball and refuse to give her a cent until she files for D, but that's not going to result in anything other than her rushing out ASAP to file and get that court order. I could try to come to some sort of arrangement and provide her support, like I was doing before, w/o a court order, but then I feel that won't help my case in terms of gaining her respect. And I don't see her willing to agree on the amount that I would be willing to give her, based on the reality of time she spends with kids.
In short, I don't see an easy way out. I'm looking at 3 choices: 1) Refuse to give WW any more help until she gets a court order, likely resulting in her filing for D as quickly as she can find an attorney.
2) Filing myself, knowing that it will result in a temp support order, but one that she will have to live with, and one likely to be far more reasonable in amount, based on my logs of time actually spend with children over past few months.
3) Try to work with her on an amount that we would both be happy with, while NOT filing for D at this time. I don't see this option being very likely. She wants way more than I am willing to provide, and I believe way more than she is legally entitled to.
If any of you experts out there want to chime in, I would love to get some feedback.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
Me 47 W 42 T 24 yrs M 18 yrs W living with OM BD1: 3/7/2015 (A with OM#1) BD2: 4/11/2015 (A with OM#2, W moves out) WW filed for D, papers received 9/18/2015. Meeting to determine child custody 9/29/2015.
She will try different techniques to get more money from you. She will be all friendly acting, throw screaming fits, threaten, bully, cry, flirt.....or whatever she thinks will make you buckle. So, take this as a warning.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
