Thanks for your reply dear Smothy! I wish I could write that I did well and controlled my emotions.. But that would be a lie . I just couldn't do it..
So I made up a silly reason, he had promised me a while back to help me get a water lock for my bathroom (he can fix that at his workplace) and called.
Feel utterly embarrassed, after all the great advice and time I've got from you guys and I just run full speed a head anyway.
I kept it fairly breezy, didn't go into any discussions about the issue and he told me a little about his weekend and asked about mine.
We decided to see each other after my 10K race on Saturday. It's in the same town where he lives. I think he wants to have the "talk" then. The thought of how to handle is all I can think about. Validation page and Zeus posts as well as all you're comments will be read non stop but I'm scared I'm to up in the air to do it well. I'm gonna write stuff down and practice..
So sorry guy's, I'm a bloody mess, I'm ashamed to say!
All my best..
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
((((((Tulo)))))). You are doing better than you think.
Despite being told no contact, I did the same. Sometimes the compulsion takes over me and I have to FORCE myself, not to. Every day.
I had an elastic band on my wrist and every time my thoughts wandered I would snap it; I was constantly snapping it. :-( Laurie's advice, I think is in the Newcomers bit is useful on this.
It took me weeks to get to where you are not days. Keep with it!
Both 47 M 20 T25 S 18 EA July 11- Jan 12. ILYBNILWY Oct EA April 13 -July 13 Move to work abroad Sept 14 re establish contact with OW while away D bomb 22/12/14 D filed papers served 17/03/15
You are being way to kind.. I have this burning whole in my heart at the moment, and I couldn't control it what so ever, it felt like.
So scared of what he'll say on Saturday. I'm trying to keep a positive mind, you know, laws of attraction and all that. But in the back of my mind is his words "I'm not in love with you any more. I don't want to work on this any more. I can't help what I feel". Hurts like hell!
Can I say something really bad? After the race I'm running first, I'm going to his place for a shower and to see him. I so wish he'll jump in the shower with me.. What does that say about me? That I'm like the scarlet letter, or what you call it..
Just wish to be close to him, even if it's only for awhile.. But I don't think that it's gonna happen and I bet most of you think it's not a good idea if it does. And I'm not thinking, just feeling.
Luckily I have loads of things planned for the upcoming days. All in the spirit of GAL! Tomorrow the hair salon and a run, Thursday I'm going to run and then drive to a larger town to listen to a woman who is very inspirational and she talks about relationships.. Thought I might pick up on something good. Friday I guess will be the hardest day, since I have no plans yet, and then it's Saturday and the wait will be over after I cross the finish line of the race.
OMG, I'm just going on and on.. Sorry!
Thanks again dear Smothy for your answer! I'm going to work on the forcing part.. Hugs!
M: 44 H: 43 ILYBNILWY: 7/4-15 Decided to try to reconnect. "This doesn't work, I have no feelings": 20/4-15 Scheduled "talk" :9/5-15 It's over: 9/5
I just couldn't do it.. 
Friday I guess will be the hardest day, since I have no plans yet, and then it's Saturday and the wait will be over after I cross the finish line of the race.