As for me I'm having trouble finding time for anything but work and trying to help my D20 get settled and getting her a drivers license. The truth is I'm feeling more depressed now than at any point in my sitch. I just can't find the energy I used to. I'm hoping once I get D20 settled in, I'll start feeling better.
I have to get to bed now but will try to stop back soon. Hope everyone is doing well!
Matt, I haven't been on for a while myself, but came on for a brief check . I have been very busy with my kid, C as well, so that's part of it (not frequenting here, 'GAL' ). Had some really good times a few weeks ago. We did a lot together - I was able to get 'out there.' Then I got sick lol ... so that a bit of a bummer afterward.
I do find myself depressed recently (last few days in particular (?), & my energy level is also really low. But illness is work for the body soooooo ... I not worried!
Anyway, so much has caught up w/ you after years of trying. Is it really hard to understand? The 'depletion.' I know some part of me feels defeated. It was hard - it IS hard sometimes. So after trying & hoping, we have exhausted much. The only thing I can suggest is to try to counter it.
I will get some $$ this week & I will be back 'out there' with C. (again) Too much 'output' for too long ... time to INPUT Matt. Take D 20 somewhere & just enjoy. I also thought of printing out (digital) pics of some of the good times as visual reminders around the home. p.
pbetra ---- M: 15 yrs (in 2014) BD: 6/03/2014 Infidelity ('known' from July 2014) Denied PA Feb 2015 2 leave Mar 2015 (left early Summer). Some contact. Back briefly 2017 (after family death) Separated 2017
I'm so sorry Matt. I don't know what to say other than hang in there and don't give up. You have been through so much, it's pretty understandable to feel down.
I wish you and your girls the best.
Me 48 H 46 S 11 M 2004 BD 8/13 H moved out 2/15 -live in the present, enjoy the beauty around and within you, explore your new future-
Matt, you've been through a lot. One of the tougher sitches I've read. Be kind to yourself, and let go of what you can, when you can. Things will continue to get better for you.
M: A really long time. Crisis: 5 years. She's still worth it.
Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but only by lack of meaning and purpose. -Viktor Frankl
I'm sorry, Matt. Hang in there...it will get better!
3 kids BD 12/15/13 (IDKIILY. ) Rope dropped Cirque du Soleil style D final 9-9-14 "Some people are born on 3rd base and go through life thinking they hit a triple." Barry Switzer
Matt, I'm sorry for what you are going through. You and I have some similar problems. My D21 never hears from her mother. But I am not sure she wants to right now after she sold D21's car and kept the money so she can move. D12 still talks to her mom at night, but if she ever tries talking about her feelings her mom has to go. When I told STBX about D12 sleep problems, going to see a counselor and possibly having to go on anti depressants, STBX response was "ok". They don't care about anything but themselves right now. Keep trying with your other D. She will need you. She is at that age where her friends are important to her. But she will also need her Dad. If she knows you are there, she will reach out. Hang in there! Take care of yourself also. I got on anti depressants awhile ago and I am glad I did. Helps me to get through the tough times so I can be there for my kids.
Me:44 EXW 44 Wonderful Children M11, T14 BD 6/14 OM Confirmed Divorce Final 2/25/16 "It works if you work it!"
Yeah, there's life after D. With time and space, you'll be at a better place emotionally.
As for your D14, I would be involved in her life regardless of her choice to live with her Mom. I'd make weekend plans with her and your D20 so you all can hang out together. These young girls need a strong male presence in their lives. They may scoff at this given their young ages, but really deep down they NEED you.
Sure, D14 will protest but just tell her that she's coming with you whether she likes it or not. Be persistent and not give up.
Wow, thanks everyone for being here. I've missed you all. I'm going to be ok, I'm sure of that. It just seems so hard sometimes. D15 started kick boxing classes. Her mom was busy taking her yoga class the night of her 2nd class so I took her instead. She was nervous as she is the youngest in an adult class. She gave me all these rules as she is afraid of "being judged". She did great! She held her own with the adults. After, she told me how glad she was that I was there. She said I encouraged her but she never felt I was judging her. She was more relaxed and happy then I've seen her in a long time. This is why I HAVE to keep working. She and her sister need me. I think she feels that her mom is "judging" her because she doesn't have any interest in what D15 is doing or feeling. Like every 15 year old she wants her parents to care although she would never admit she does!
Oh, well it's late once again and I have to get some rest. Thanks again everyone for stopping in and your kind, encouraging words!
The Sitch: Married 26 years EA w/ OM 9/10 Bomb 10/10 (5 weeks after 25th anniversary) Sep 12/10 She wants D 1/11 W files 5/11 D final 10/11 XW marries OM 6/13
). Had some really good times a few weeks ago. We did a lot together - I was able to get 'out there.' Then I got sick lol ... so that a bit of a bummer afterward.