I don't see how talking to your lawyer or asking the mediator what will be discussed ahead of time could hurt? Seems like it could only help you be prepared.
I spoke to mediators assistant and the mediator will call me the morning of the session in advance. I also found out that my W submitted an affidavit of our finances - without consulting me. I have asked my wife to send me a copy.
I will call the L today.
This is very hard for me because I have never been good and monitoring and managing finances. In general, I was avoidant when it came to finances. Add to it that mediation is such an unpleasant task to begin with, and you have the perfect storm for procrastination. I know I need to do this to protect my interests.
I did some reading about shared parenting plans and I have no idea where to start the negotiations. I am considering a 2-2-5 arrangement because that will offer equal time and the most regular time. I will probably ask for a greater share of the holidays and maybe split an additional weekend.
I must admit, that I am so scared of the uncertainty. Terrified actually. I am trying to use my head/intellect, but emotions keep taking over.
Your lawyer can give you a good idea about what the "standard" child custody arrangement is in your state. You will want to give some thought as to presenting your proposal from the standpoint of what is best for the kids.
Speaking with your lawyer will most likely help you with the fear and uncertainty, and if they give you tasks to do, do not procrastinate. You'll definitely want to get a better handle on your finances before you head into mediation. It will be a much more effective discussion on your side if you go in to it educated and confident about these matters.
RAI, I agree with Raliced that your L can be helpful in explaining common child sharing arrangements. There are many variations. Just be sure you ask for what you really want up front, it might be hard to increase time later.
