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woundedfool #2492560 09/30/14 02:18 PM
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2BHappy Offline OP
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Wounded,,,

I'm trying to detach more,,,I appreciate my H still be in the house (I think), but every time now I pull back he reaches out for me,,,and the last time I fell hard...

Re-reading while my mind is sooo confused is not really working right but I'm trying my best.

GAL, I feel like I got this part:) Enjoying myself:)

I realized the difference I think,,,before when I was detaching H did not seem to care...now it seems like he at least feels me pulling away,,,and so the dance has started.

My own crazy train,,,that was funny but very true!


Me 43 ring off Oct 2014 (my ring back on Feb 2015)
H 51 (ring off 7/2013)
M 2007 T 1996
S 14
July 2013- H told me he was unhappy.....said he is staying for Son
Feb 18 2014 Found out about OW
2BHappy #2492571 09/30/14 04:09 PM
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job Offline
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Can you do things w/him w/o expectations? Can you treat him like a roommate or just a friend? He knows that he can "hook" you back in and that's where you have to find a way not to react to his overtures. Treat him as you would a roommate or a friend and accept him for who he is right now...just a friend and when he sees that he can't "hook" you back in the games may eventually stop...but you are the only one that can stop them by not reacting or expecting something from him. Yes, it's hard to stop this game/dance...but you've already learned the first step, i.e., being aware of what he's doing.

Detach a bit more and if you want to invite him then invite him and leave the option up to him if he wants to attend and if he doesn't...then go on your own and have a great time. It's his loss if he doesn't want to do things w/you and friends.

Last edited by job; 09/30/14 04:10 PM.
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Moderated by  Cadet, DnJ, job, Michele Weiner-Davis 

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