Dealing with WAW part 4

[Casey]

Igit,

You are right there isn't anything one can do to help the partner who checked out of the M. Something has happened in my situation that has made me question how much of this I want to put up with. I have been living in a dead M for a year now, and while I have patience it is not limitless, especially when you discover you have other options, and the pain I am experiencing can end anytime I choose to end it. There is an ultimate yield strength for everything and I am ounces away from mine.

Sorry for the thread hijack Pilot, no one seems to comment on my thread...

[pilot]

No problem Casey. Keep posting here, and on your thread People will jump onto yours soon. It took me a while to develop a small following. Usually people post when things are really bad or really good. The so so days usually go un noticed.

[pilot]

Ok, help. I just got off the phone with the friend of my W who I saw at the store today. She sent me a fb message because she saw me online and wanted to talk on the phone. So she calls and wow, what an interesting/hurtful experience that was.

We talked for about 2 hours so I will never be able to recap the entire conversation here. But here are some of the points she wanted to talk about.

1. She said she had pressed my W to spill the dirt on me. Say some of the bad things about me. The only thing she said was what I had told my W a few days before our S began and I caught her with OM in the car. I had said I hoped our kids never marry someone like her because I would hate to see them go through what she is putting me through. Other than that she said nothing negative about me or our relationship.

2. She said my W explained to her that the reason she is dragging out the D by not serving me papers, and waiting 3-4 more months to file here in our new state is that she wants to spare my feelings and not be rude by rushing this D through quickly. She thinks it would be easier on me if it did not happen so quick. That she knew I was hurting and did not want to rub salt in the wound.

3. She said that my W talked about some other guy she knew from her childhood in her old hometown while she was living there this summer and had a crush on him.

4. She said that my W was talking about the LF I had invited to my kids bday a week after our S began and was just wondering about it. My wife called her an ex gf.

5. The night my W and I had a great date and got really close to taking it physical, and I threw cold water on it, she told this friend (who she stayed with) that she had wanted to stay with me until I got to talking about the schools and whatnot and then thought nevermind.

6. W had talked to her the day our S began and was talking about OM and how she thought someday there may be a relationship with this guy. (W insisted nothing had ever happened between them)

There are a million other things I know I will remember and post, but I have to say, I am feeling really down. I do not know why really. I mean, none of this is new stuff. And this was not even a conversation with W, it was with her friend. I guess I am just confused/hurt/tired? The part about her reason WHY she has not served me just does not make sense to me. Sandi? Is this possibly a valid reason? Ugg...

[igit]

Pilot, remember don't believe anything they say. She knows you are hurting so let's just stay in limbo for another 3 to 4 months then I will serve him. It sounds like she is trying to convince herself why she hasn't served. Chances are she doesn't know for sure what she wants. Why wait if she was sure this is what she wanted. She isn't thinking about what's best for you rt now. guaranteed