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#2243667 - 05/08/12 12:31 PM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: 2thepoint]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1273
I stand corrected, she referred to it as a "gratitude letter". I think it will be nearly impossible for me to attach no emotion to it, but I will certainly try. Still, I wonder how she can write such a thing with no feelings and a closed heart. I always heard that the true sign that you are ready for D is true ambivalence towards your spouse - you feel basically nothing. Again - maybe this is something I am not meant to understand.

Crimson

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#2243884 - 05/09/12 08:09 AM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: Crimson]
sandi2 Offline
Member

Registered: 06/27/07
Posts: 10714
Just wondering if you got my last post. I tried to answer your questions, but you never replied.
_________________________
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!

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#2243914 - 05/09/12 10:00 AM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: sandi2]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1273
I did, Sandi. It gave me so much to think about I actually didn't post much for a few days and I've been meaning to say "thank you". It was not all sunshine and roses, but it was accurate - as I really see you as an expert in this space.

I am trying to drop the rope, it just gets difficult with a 2 year old that you adore in the middle of it all.

It was rather sobering to hear you say I am almost beyond LRT - no place to go from there, really.

Crimson

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#2243995 - 05/09/12 02:26 PM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: Crimson]
sayitaintso Offline
Member

Registered: 11/04/11
Posts: 951
Originally Posted By: Crimson
Still, I wonder how she can write such a thing with no feelings and a closed heart.
Crimson


Mind reading Crimson^^^^. They may act like they have no feelings or are fine w/ everything but from reading on here that is usually not the case when the truth eventually comes out.

Be Well!
_________________________
Me- 34 W-33
S15 S10 S6
Married- 11 Together- 18
Bomb- 6-2011
WAW moves out- 8-2011

"Nothing in the Universe can stop you from letting go and starting over at anytime"- Guy Finley

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#2244026 - 05/09/12 03:46 PM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: sayitaintso]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1273
I would agree with you SIAS, spare the fact that she has said both of those things to me. Still, who knows how much she means them at any given time. It's been about a month or so since she said her heart was closed off - maybe it is, maybe it isn't. I honestly can't tell.

Crimson

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#2244037 - 05/09/12 04:30 PM Re: Unlearning, Learning, Doing it Differently [Re: Crimson]
Crimson Offline
Member

Registered: 11/16/11
Posts: 1273
By the way, Sandi - just to respond to something else you mentioned in your reply to my post, I DID tell my w that we need to talk before she books her travel. I really want to be able to gain some clarity on things.

Specifically, her version of working on the relationship. I also want to convey that if we are BOTH working on things together I am very flexible in how we handle nearly all situations. Otherwise, I think I would most likely play everything by the book as dictated by the court. Is there a way to present that without it looking like I am dropping an ultimatum? Is presenting it at ALL a bad idea?

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