1210, if any split came to happen I can't imagine either my W or myself doing anything but a joint custody arangement. Thank goodness we both want what is best for our children. I would just miss tucking them in on the nights they weren't with me.
Hi folks, I forgot to give the BR dance update the other night! Well, here it is. W confronted me about my interupting a conversation between her and the teacher. W didn't understand something teacher had explained to both of us so I, your typical male, thought I should enlighten my W (despite that being the teachers job). I listened to her complaint and said "You're absolutely right, I apologize" she replied "it's OK". This is something I am proud of in myself, I am OK with saying "I was wrong" if I indeed was. The trait she mentioned is also one I need to work on, am I hoping she'll fall to her knees and worship my brilliance when I do things like that? Do I feel I am "protecting" her? What it does is makes her look like the dummy in the couple, which kind of spoils what I am trying to achieve by DBing doesn't it. So, my goal is to let my W find her own way to these kinds of answers, she really doesn't need me for that. She's damn smart and runs a social service program, I need to let her handle these situations herself. Now, I thought I would be released from BR dance duty in three weeks but they are now extending the session another 6 weeks after that. W is all for continuing, go figure! I'm a trooper, I'll carry on, I mean who else on this BB is going to keep you guys up on BR dance, it is a burden I must carry for the good of DBers everywhere
Whatis blew a gasket today! It wasn't pretty. She just kept pushing and finally I blew. I tried to walk away, go out for a walk but she had to make one more comment. Yes, idiot boy couldn't let it go! I told her I was sick and tired of her disrespect and hurtful comments. I told her that most of the time I was non-existent in this house, just another piece of furniture and she could at least polish me once and a while! I won't go on any further but it ended with me telling her to shut her f'ing mouth (pretty respectful, eh!) and telling her to move out and do us all a favour. Earlier I did mention that I was tired of hearing nothing but criticism and I never hear anything positive like "that was really good" or any appreciation for anything I do, just negative, hurtful comments. I think I called her an emotional bully. I went for a 2 hour walk and I'm home, she's outside helping D bike like nothing happened. Did I handle this well? NO, but I'm tired of giving a damn. No more am i taking her crap.
thanks Ford, She's a selfish, self-centered, insensitive bully and I'm damn sick and tired of trying to keep the lid on things. I need to find a nice middle ground between sluffing it off and blowing. At least this was only the second time I've let go like that in about 9 months. hey, I asked her to go for counselling with me to figure out where we are going, she refused. I told her I was unhappy with the current situation and it couldn't continue much longer. What does she think I am Robo-loser! She just has to have her own way, i saw it with the kids tonight, she just can't allow people space, she's always badgering to get her way whether it's to get them in the bathtub or eat a piece of fruit! There is no compromise, it's my way or I badger you until I get it. Today she was on me from the moment she came home carrying on about one thing or another. Here's one small example of shaming me in front of my kids. In our family meeting I mentioned I would bring a plumber in on the March break (costs less if you can book a day appt) W "How much will it cost" M "I don't know, because I don't know what needs to be done to fix the problem" W "Can't you phone and ask them?" M "I can but how can they tell me the cost if they haven't seen what needs to be done?" W "So he's just going to come over and fix it and you don't know how much you will be paying, are you in the habit of buying things without knowing how much they will cost?" (sarcastically) M "No" W "So how are you going to find out" M "Hey, why don't you find out!" (I'm starting to lose it) This was only one of an endless barrage of poison banter! The one that pushed me over the brink was when she accused me of "controlling" her money because she couldn't understand the investment statements. She throws questions at me like "why did we invest in this and why not that" Lets see we discussed these decisions at least five years ago, how the Hell do I remember any more than she does. She expects snap answers to any question she poses. It's OK for her to be totally ignorant for years but I'm supposed to be a walking investment encyclopedia. It's more the frustrated, demeaning tone she uses when she asks. It's as though she wants me not know and/or be wrong. I tried to be patient thinking "it's good that she wants to know and understand" but "you are controlling my money" was too much. I went ballistic. I'm sick and tired of her sh!t, her inability to see me as a person with feelings. All she can see is what she wants and to Hell with a diplomatic or sensitive way of approaching getting it. It's hurtful. Well, enough ranting for one night. I'm really tired, letting loose those angry emotions is exhausting. W's now gone out to see OW and cry on her shoulder about her unreasonable, hurtful H. Thank God, I can use the break!
Wow, just after writing that last post I felt like my old self again, something lifted. I went upstairs and tucked my girls in and apologized for my behaviour earlier with Mom, as yelling is a frightening thing. I told them never to worry about Dad leaving and never coming back (W told them that I had said this on my way out the door! What a b!tch, why would you tell kids that even if it were true, and it was NOT. Just one more example of insensitivity at its finest)They said they knew that and said "it's OK Dad, everyone gets mad sometimes". I love them so much!!!
wow buddy. Let's face the facts: you deserve Sainthood for not ripping her head off months ago. (not what you expected huh?) I totally understand how you could lose it and the "leaving" comment to your kids is so amazingly immature. She deserves to get nailed for that. I don't know if you want to revisit this whole pleasant situation with her but IF you chose to feel justified in telling her that was an emotionally damaging thing to say to children, and just plain mean, not to mention a lie. And I know you love her, even though she wins "ass of the year" award. Check out my ramblings tonight. Hope you find something fun for tomorrow. Gotta love those girls!
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
wow buddy. Let's face the facts: you deserve Sainthood for not ripping her head off months ago. (not what you expected huh?) I totally understand how you could lose it and the "leaving" comment to your kids is so amazingly immature. She deserves to get nailed for that. I don't know if you want to revisit this whole pleasant situation with her but IF you chose to feel justified in telling her that was an emotionally damaging thing to say to children, and just plain mean, not to mention a lie. And I know you love her, even though she wins "ass of the year" award. Check out my ramblings tonight. Hope you find something fun for tomorrow. Gotta love those girls!
I have a shovel and I'm not afraid to use it. Stubby
