He is a good dad, but he still isn't really thinking about his family or he would have given us a second chance instead of turning to another woman. She a piece of crap for putting my children threw this and she needs to focus on her own marriage ending before coming between a marriage having problems. I just hope he is thinking about everything and not just about being with her. I feel that he pulls away from me at time because he starts thinking about us and this might just be me thinking wrong.I don't want a divorce not yet and I know he is going to come back and want to proceed with it. What should I do?
God you sound like me. I do not want a divorce. Tomorrow (our 6 yr anniversary) will be 1 month since he left. 1 minute everything seems OK, not good, OK. And we laugh, talk, etc. Then the next (and I KNOW its loser friends influence) he is a JERK! I get sick to my stomach. I shake perfusely. Trembling, shaking, like after you have an epidural or when your REALLY REALLY cold. My whole body. I read that its a bodies way of dealing w/ stress. I am getting so mentally sick that my body is shutting down. Everyone says "you cant do this to yourself" Well frig off because until your in MY position, you have NO idea right!?!?!?! I am so sick of "you have to be there for the children and live for the children" and the infamous "well life goes on" OR "your better off w/o him" SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP I say!
God you sound like me. I do not want a divorce. Tomorrow (our 6 yr anniversary) will be 1 month since he left. 1 minute everything seems OK, not good, OK. And we laugh, talk, etc. Then the next (and I KNOW its loser friends influence) he is a JERK! I get sick to my stomach. I shake perfusely. Trembling, shaking, like after you have an epidural or when your REALLY REALLY cold. My whole body. I read that its a bodies way of dealing w/ stress. I am getting so mentally sick that my body is shutting down. Everyone says "you cant do this to yourself" Well frig off because until your in MY position, you have NO idea right!?!?!?! I am so sick of "you have to be there for the children and live for the children" and the infamous "well life goes on" OR "your better off w/o him" SHUT UPPPPPPPPPPPP I say!
oh and PS - I DO live for my children. I eat, breathe, live, etc. for my children. They are the only sane thing in my life right now and I do not deny them attention, Mom time, etc. Everything is the same when it comes to them. If it wasn't for them, I would of ran away a long time ago.
Our bodies are doing the same thing...My H will be out of house two months tomorrow...he probably doesn't even realize it! He was so nice for two days and now we haven't heard from him in two days. Do you feel like you are forcing it, just going through the motions with your kids? I feel like that right now and it really is bothering me! I will never tell you any of the things that you mentioned above...my best friend of 30 years says them to me on a daily basis and I know she means well but it kills me! Let them spend a day in our shoes!! I would not wish these feelings on my worst enemy!
Really!? You shake too? I will be FREEZING (and I am NEVER cold) and shake perfusely!!! I hate it! I just shake and shake! WTF? When you say "Do you feel like you are forcing it" I assume you mean to be w/ him??? If that is the idea, then yes, and I hate it. I want to scream poop or get off the pot already. But then I my friends tell me, then you're not giving him his space rushing it! I dont mean to rush things, but I am so afraid and scared being w/o him. My best friend is EXACTLY like yours!!!! And I say the SAME exact thing "i wouldnt wish this on..." And he got me nothing for V Day. He "meant" to but everything was closed but Target. He "meant" to get me flowers but everything was closed. In his defense, yes, w/ all the snow, things were closed. But whatever.
I think this is normal I get that way too. Have you seen your doctor about taking some thing? I take zoloft for anxiety. It really helps i'm not so emotional and think more clear. I was dead against meds but they help. I have one thing to be happy about he wasn't with the ow for V-day. I called his parents house to see if he could come over and help shovel the ice and snow he said yes and half hour later he was there. We didn't get much done because of the think ice but he came. He called me later twice, once to have me put salt on the ice and then to tell me he had a snow blower for me to have and that we would be over the next day to remove the ice and snow. I thought that was nice of him. I don't want to read to much into things and it not anything but him being nice. My heart hope he is really thinking about things and not rushing ending them.
OK...never heard from H yesterday at all! Thought he would call D4 to wish her a happy v-day...didn't even call to thank D's for his card. in the past! mad today because he never showed up to take D4 to preschool...she was very upset! Always picks her up!! I left 5 minutes after he usually comes giving him the benefit of the doubt...we all run late...you would think he would have called...my MIL lives not even a mile away...guess he wasn't there! H is supposed to take kids tonight but I have no idea b/c I haven't spoken to him since Monday and he was sooo nice! I am supposed to go to dinner with friends... Should I call him to find out the story or just let it go and wait for him to call me?? not sure if I am DBing or being a doormat! and not calling him on his wrongdoings. How can you disappoint your kids this way! This OW has a real hold on him...he is going to L today...I hope he thinks on his own! I am not going to ask him about it...wait and see right???
I don't have to be cold and I start to shake...are you trying to eat well?? very important...we need to keep our energy up...If you get sick who will take care of the kids?? your question to me about "forcing it?" I meant myself...I feel like I am taking no real joy in the D's...just going through the motions! It makes me feel awful.. I am on vacation next week and I am MAKING myself do fun things with them!! that is my most recent goal... I am still not used to not calling H and telling him about our days! Still wait for him to walk in the door....UGH that is the worst...two months today
Hope, agree, agree, agree...if H's were stand up family men...we would come first!! I believe everything needs a second chance...especially a family!! This thought hits me daily b/c I am a teacher and I see first hand the differences between kids from one parent homes and those who live with two parent families...WAIT...what I mean is I will never let my D's have a bad life...fight for them with every last breathe...but it is different we have to take on all the worry and nurturing by ourselves...the day to day stuff...My D is worrying about things a 4 year old shouldn't. When we are alone we have to play both the mommy and daddy role...it is very difficult and I worry everyday I will screw up my kids!
