I've been exercising in the mornings and feeling good about that. However, my appetite has increased.
I'm not sure if my appetite has increased because I'm nervous about my date with my husband. Or because I'm excercising.
When I take a deep breath and go into my body, my still inner voice tells me it's because I'm nervous.
For some reason, I can't seem to break the 220 lb barrier. I don't understand why this is an issue for me.
I know my husband would love to see me thinner. I'd love to be thinner, stronger, more energetic.
How do I get past this?
Weight Watchers has a bracelet that helps keep track of the day's points. I wear it and use it as my touch stone. My reminder that I have made my goal to adopt this new way of eating for life.
That doesn't seem to be working.
I'll try the 'Stop Sign Technique' today.
Also, I think the sugar contributes to my depression. I notice that after I eat anything with sugar, I start feeling down and my clouds turn gray.
It's time for me to experiment. 2 weeks without sugar. I'll see how my mood is. Will I have more blue skies? Instead of gray clouds every day, I'd love to only have gray clouds 3 times a week.
Most people on this board would be thrilled to get an ILY. (Congrats Jethro!!)
I'm getting ILY's from my husband. I'm still thrilled each time.
However, I still feel like if I didn't call him and ask him on a date, he'd not ask me.
I've seen that before...and each time, the person decides to wait it out, their spouse DOES come back and ask them for a date.
The fact is, despite my hurting heart, I DON'T want my husband back unless he wants to be back. Truly back.
After this date, I need to back off and not contact him, go back to only calling him once for every 4 times he calls me. Let him have the opportunity to put some effort into our relationship.
My biggest fear. He won't call, won't contact me, won't ask me on a date. I'll never hear from him again. I'll be in Limbo the rest of my life.
Is this realistic? With my husband? No....but 6 months could easily go by before he decides to call. This is how he is with his family.
And when they call and express the desire to see him, he'd ask me why they couldn't just leave him alone. I'd try to explain that they love him and want to be a part of his life. He didn't get it. Was perfectly happy only hearing from them once a month. Was annoyed at family obligation. I don't know if he's changed.
Sigh.
I need to remember that people don't value what they get for free.
Most people value stuff more, the more they pay for it.
By giving my husband me for free, I'm only hurting myself and our relationship. I'm only giving him permission to not value me.
On Sunday, on our date, I'll not talk about our relationship. I'll stay focused on being/having fun and being friendly, enthusiastic and energetic.
you've got a lot to think about here...I would try not to worry too much about the weight...good that you are aware of the different effects have on your moods and when and why you tend to eat but don't obsess over the weight (that only tends to lead to more eating) you are working out and watching what you eat..it takes time just like everything around here!!
regarding the date...you know how to play it.
I understand the thoughts that it would take h a long long time to initiate a date on his own as well as the contact with his family...my h is rather the same way..infact when we do get an invite to visit family he always tries to get them to come here so he doesn't have to go anywhere. ah but then knowing that is the way they are with even their own family we should not take it so personally (I still do though, I'll have to work on it)
well I just wanted to say howdy, so howdy and good luck on that date!! (hey why not refer to it as something other than a "date" to help take the pressure off??)
Well, we are going to our favorite restaurant. We both love it, and even though he lives right near it, he says he hasn't been there since the last time we went together.
So, I'll think of it as a reunion with my favorite Diner!
