I have a session with Michele tomorrow morning, I have some goals, I was told to have at least 2:
1. To lose weight by joining (which I already did) and starting attending kickboxing
2. To find some hobbies of my own, I don't have any gave them all up when we got married to spend more time with WAW who told me that I don't do anything alone. She's right. I have one in mind that I have always wanted to do, join a cooking class, and I'm going to do it as soon as possible. WAW is in GA with the daughter, she's not back until middle of May, so I'm going to be good to myself for a change.
My Goals 1. Practice the 180 religiously 2. Begin taking walks daily 3. Get back into yoga & pilates 4. Go out more, make plans with friends/family 5. That my H and I reconnect, and our marriage is strong 6. Get hightlights & hair cut 7. Work on my writing 8. Look into creative writing classes, sewing classes 9. Work on my knitting & knitting designs 10. Have faith 11. Be a good DB 12. I won't take H's distance personally 13. I will be upbeat & busy 14.Spend time meditating & journaling 15. Dress nice everyday because it makes me feel good 16. Do some volunteer work
1) I want my wife to return my love and affection 2) I want her to show me respect as an equal 3) I want her to appreciate all that I do for her 4) I want her love me back as much as I love her
Here are my goals: GAL – - Not centered around W - Detach - Don’t follow W around house during talks, leave room if she starts changing clothes - Don’t do things for W, that she can do for herself - Don’t talk R, unless W brings it up first - Ignore W’s internet friends and W’s online activities
- Pay closer attention to D’s - No yelling at D’s - Read more to D5 - Listen more to D13 - Hug, connect, show more love for D’s
- Be happy all the time - Exercise more to hit body/weight goals - Start writing poetry again - Look into ART classes - Separate finances with W - Read 30 min a day of DR - Read 30 min a day of other relationship books
Interactions with W – - Do not blame, gossip, worry, or control - Do not advise - Do not argue, get angry with W - Listen intently to W when she needs to talk - Ask questions - Validate - Do not interrupt, let W finish what she is saying - Give silent support - W has right to her emotions, listen without making W wrong - Give W privacy - No expectations - Show W caring and respect - Show commitment to understanding W’s feelings
What I hope for – - W will be happy with life and family - W will show patience with kids and myself - W will show excitement in family events - W will admit positives in marriage
- W and I will work together to solve issues - W asks to help with finances - W and I create schedule to free up time to spend together - W and I will talk about consistency in dealing with D’s
- W and I will have an intimate relationship with trust, love, and understanding - W says, “Have a good night/day”. - W hugs/kisses me - W asks to discuss/confides issues - W asks me to go for a walk - W asks me top go on a date/movie - W and I plan future together - W asks about my day - W acknowledges changes I have made - W talks less about moving out - W cuddles with me on couch - W allows me to hold her in bed while she falls asleep
TwinDragon Thread #11-Dragon, flying - evaluating his world.
-I will quit smoking. -I will walk my dog. -I will keep communication with my wife light until she is ready (NO PRESSURE!) -I will take my golf lessons -I will never give up on my M
I think these are some decent goals to get my life headed in the right direction even though my WAW is a long way from working on our marriage.
New to the DB process here. These are the long term goals I have from the work from the DR book are these aren't : 1. I would like to rebuild the trust that we have between us. 2. I want us to be able to communicate our true and deep feelings to each other. 3. I want us to be able to positively work as a team planning for the future. 4. I want to show my wife that staying married is worth it.
Short term: 1. I would like my wife to actually touch me. We have have no physical contact (holding hands, etc) in over a month (her choice). 2. I would like to continue doing things with my wife (dates, walks) etc. She doesn't want to now. 3. I would like her not to make horrible remarks to me when we talk about our marital problems.
