I am so glad you like the book, it really helped me ALOT!!! I do think the DBing and the lessons we are learning are things that we will refine over time.
It is hard to sometimes see our behavior as something that needs to change and not justify it...just accept that changes need to be made.
That was a huge stumbling block for me, not to look at the crap my H was doing and just work on myself...bleh!
We had a wonderful Thanksgiving, the whole family together and just having normalcy
Finally my H told the kids he is ready to be home and will be back soon, permanently. I haven't told them anything, just in case! So I was thrilled that he felt "safe" enough to really follow through with this move.
I am busy painting the house, we chose new colors together and will be redoing most of the rooms. I am really looking forward to changing the bedroom and making it new again.
My Husband was wonderful during his week at home and we spent alot of time just being together and enjoying one another.
I was able to surprise him and do some 180's in the bedroom, which he was pretty happy with. I am learning to just enjoy my time with him and stop being so afraid to let down my guard.
Thanks you for all of the wonderful posts on my thread, I so appreciate knowing how much support I have from you guys on the board.
Wouldn't it be wonderful to win the lottery and be able to afford to pay for everyone on this board to go on a cruise together.....sigh.....money changes everything!
There can be no testimony without a test. I am praying to go through this test and come out the other end with a new and better marriage then before.
Hi BND, So happy for you that he's made it official to the kids. Actually, I thought he was coming home permanently last week.
Good job with the bedroom 180s and just being able to relax while with him instead of stressing about it. Well, thanks for you for all your support. Have fun with the painting an getting the house ready. When is he moving back for good? ~PH
brandnewday, Im very happy for you and your family. The kids must be thrilled. Can you visit my post and give me your insight please? I am at a bad point right now.BAAAAADDD!!!!
I am so very happy for you. Look forward and let's hope that it will be a new beginning for all of you.
My H returned home once. It was at Christmas time 5 years ago. I was sure my divorce was busted. Unfortunately, it didn't last BUT...
The reason I am telling you this is not to bring you down, but to tell you what I did wrong so maybe you won't make the same mistake.
When H had been home 6 days, I started to let my guard down. I was sure we were past OW, and all the crap of our separation. I needed some answers. And I asked. And it was a huge mistake. He was not out of his MLC at all. He resented my asking. He ran to OW who of course showered him with love and praise and didn't ask questions.
Would he have stayed? Would he have left anyway? I have no way of knowing. And everyone's situation is NOT the same.
But I wanted to share this with you because I want this to be a success story for you and your family. So don't ask a lot of questions. Not now, anyway.
Barbiedoll, Thanks for sharing your story. It will help me keep this in mind if I ever get to that point in my situation. And even to ensure I have a better chance of getting htere, I will try not to ask questions. ~PH
Just reading a little about your sitch. I am really glad you are sharing your positive story here. It's great to read about success!
As for Barbie's story, I agree, one thing that I have come to believe in my own sitch is that if there ever comes a time when I "let my guard down" or just stop working and begin coasting again, I am sure to face all this crap again.
To me, working for your marriage is one of the strongest signs of love we can offer our spouses and it's a lack of work, in whatever part of the R we slacked off on that usually is at the root of all the problems.
Please, take care, keep up the GREAT posts, good news and happy marriage.
