I'm starting to worry I married my husband in the middle of his MLC, not that I know if it is that.
He didn't even look at me tonight. He did start conversation re work. Complaining, I agreed with him and said must be annoying and he just grunted. He's more friendly with the cats lol.
He didn't ask about my day at all. He is texting or on internet mobile all the time so I just left the room as I thought I might say something I regret.
Not sure if what I'm doing is correct. A waiting game I guess. The tension is awful. He was very angry earlier because he dropped a plate, he is never like that. Shouting at top of his voice. I feel like an intruder in my own home.
I guess it's best to distance yourself so it doesn't affect your mood.
Maybe go to the gym or for a walk when he gets home and he's in one of those moods, or go take a long bubble bath, read a book in a different rm. Anything to get you away from the negativity. It can really bring us down. I know when my H is in one of his moods I can feel my heart begin to race, and I feel so anxious and nervous. Lately I have just been getting out of the rm. I'll put my headphones on or watch a DVD on the portable DVD player, b/c it's so personal. Sometimes he asks what I'm watching (although he knows my friend lent me an entire season of a show I like) then he'll squeeze in to watch it. On saturday he asked if I can turn it off and watch a movie with him. I just don't have the energy anymore to feed into his negative moods when he is in one. I think you should begin to just get away from them too. That's just IMO.
M:28 H:30 DD-9| DD-7| Baby- Due 11/10 T-14 | M-8
10/08- Bomb 4/09- Failed attempt at Marriage Fitness Program 3/10- WH moved out. 7/10- Informed me he's filing in Aug
In late May my wife had a death in her family and she has been under a lot of stress.By July she started saying terrible things to me,but it would be ok.She is showing a lot of signs of a midlife crisis.we are currently seperated she is seeing a counselor that has a hunch at somepoint this would have happened regardless of who she married.we have been together 18 yrs and she is 37 yrs old,late july she said she did love me,i didn't realize i was pushing and it spiraled down hill too quick.we have been seperated for 2 months and our relationship has not gotten anybetter.I am following the last resort techniques.Is there a difference between a female or males midlife crisis?can someone tell me what to expect and chances of putting this back together?I really need help,a teenage daughter and a 11 yr old son need a family and i love my wife.
Oh we are currently switching weeks at the house,but she is saying don't worry about her focus on me build a relationship on the kids.But I am the only one her tone of voice changes with if she talks to me.She is seeing a counselor to help her find her voice and empower herself.Ideas would be great.
ok I'll figure out how to do a thread. Even though she left my laundry in an angry pile, on the dryer. i did wash her clothes, i haven't decided to put hers away or not. i always did in the past and she's no's i'm angry, so do i not do it, or show a little something about my character and what she's going to be missing.she's not mad at me for being nice.
HANG ON BY YOUR BOOT STRAPS... I dont mean to sound negative...but this is something that will take lots of time....I have been on this ride for over 2 yrs. I have no contact with my husband...he is living with the o/w.... he has pretty much put us out of his mind.... At this point and time in my life all I have is God to help me. With all the emotions that go thru us when this happens, feelings of desertion,lonliness,of I just cant go on. They are no longer the people they were....and I know you can tell by the way she speaks to you. Really look into her eyes and you will see them so differently than they did before MLC doesnt even look like their eyes....just dark and empty looking. Before coming here I never even thought of MLC but it is a real thing they are going thru.....keep reading in here and learn all you can. This is very, very hard but you can and will survive it.
I have been keeping a thread but not getting much feedback so I though I'd drop in here for a visit since I am reading alot on these boards and believe mlc is the place to start working on for me. http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=1855103&#Post1855103 I have seen that I am terribly needy and pursuing and if I don't fix that I am in big trouble.It will be hard for me because I have so many reasons in my head and excuses to make it easy to just lie in a dark room and suffer.Tips will be appreciated. Also I have alot of anger and feel like why bother I dont even like him anymore? Even when he is trying to get along he irritates me or I am not over that previouse pain and am waiting for the other shoe to drop.If I dont get over this I will be sure to undermine any progress we make.Need help with this please or direction to a thread that will help please.
Me: 44, Wife: 39 M: 17 years T: 20 years Bomb on 08/25/09 1/13/10: MC started 1/28/10, 2/8/10: More bombs 8/28/10: Wife moved out No talk of D, no movement
I have been posting in affairs, but I think I will be moving over here. H definately seems to fit the MLC criteria, but is a bit young. Either way, this seems like where I need to be. More of the traditional DBing approach and longer term support for standing I am looking for over here. Going to write my DBing history and start a new thread this weekend.
