The 60/40 split of your federal tax refund sounds reasonable. Also, squabbling over a few extra percentage is more headache than it’s worth. Obviously I only know what you’ve shared, and my surmised amount of your refund, and how much say 10% is, just doesn’t make it worth trying to get 50/50.
i agree its not really worth the stress.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
well it looks like divorce is going to proceed.
Sorry man.
It takes two to marry, and only one to divorce. A LBS cannot stop a headstrong spouse from exiting. Your STBXW is determined of her path. Let go. Become the new and improved you. Become healed and whole.
very true. at least i can finally detatch and move on and foward
Originally Posted by aphexx13
i have moved everything bills and such to my account. the only thing left to do is sign the papers which im doing tomorrow.
I imagine the paperwork is pretty straight forward. And you did have a L involved.
thats correct. shes actually giving me a few things that arent mine so thats a silver lining in this.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
i was really hoping to save the marriage. fools hope i think
I do not find hope foolish. You did what you could in effort to salvage, save, restore, your marriage and relationship. W had other plans.
Your efforts, your willingness, your hope, demonstrates who you are. A darn find man, IMHO.
So we get up, dust off, and keep moving forward.
The future is unwritten and unknown. Grab the pen and write your’s in big bold lettering. Make it a great life and story.
D
thanks for the support. its people like you that really help on this site. your words have helped me immensely. thank you.
looking for some advice. Im moving out april 1st and i was going over my budget i basically have like 500$ to pay for rent groceries and gas after i pay all my bills. im looking for a room to rent. i have a car accident settlement coming up in about 2 months. i could get back enough to pay off all my credit card bills, my car. that would free up about 500$. because of my disability i cant do my primary job so im starting over. i need to either find some kind of training or courses for a new career. jobs ive been looking at that i could take online courses would take about 2 yrs. i need something soon to get off of disability so i can make more then 2218$ a month. any advice would be helpful. my stbxw really screwed me by divorcing me in the middle of this transition while im disabled and starting over in a new job field.
I too am wondering if you’re eligible to alimony/support from STBXW. It sounds like you would be with what you’ve shared.
Anyhow, on to the meat of your present financial conundrum.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
Im moving out april 1st and i was going over my budget i basically have like 500$ to pay for rent groceries and gas after i pay all my bills.
To clarify, $1718 (2218-500) of monthly expenses not related to rent, groceries, or gas. So car loan, credit cards, other loans, and other liabilities.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
i have a car accident settlement coming up in about 2 months. i could get back enough to pay off all my credit card bills, my car. that would free up about 500$.
A $500 savings due to credit cards and car payments would likely equate to around a $20000 settlement. I estimated the car would be middle of its term and credit cards were of course high interest.
With your credit cards and car loan paid off, that would place your other loans and liabilities at $1218/month. That’s a $60000 loan over 5 years.
Are these other liabilities solely your’s? Or were they joint? If joint, are only taking on your share?
It sounds like your disability payment is garnished if you have other sources of employment income. If that is not the case, then any income is extra and welcomed. However, even if additional income is subtracted from your disability, employment would provide more than the $13.86/hr full time equivalent you are currently receiving.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
im looking for a room to rent.
Your amount available for accommodations is limited. You could consider a roommate to perhaps afford more than a basement room/suite.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
jobs ive been looking at that i could take online courses would take about 2 yrs.
It sounds like you are willing and eager to work. Find employment that does not exacerbate your injury/recovery. Almost anything will provide a better income stream than you are presently receiving. While working and paying down your loans, take that online training/courses. In time, progress to better and better jobs or promotions. Pay off debts, acquire savings, good credit history, a better rental, then a house, a mortgage, and so on.
Starting over svcks! Yet, you are not starting from square one. You’ve got a lifetime of experience and wisdom to draw upon.
We miss 100% of the pitches we don’t swing at. Face this. Swing. Keep swinging. And knock it out of the park!
I believe in you man. You got this.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
I too am wondering if you’re eligible to alimony/support from STBXW. It sounds like you would be with what you’ve shared.
we have only been married for less then 3 years so i dont qualify for that.
Anyhow, on to the meat of your present financial conundrum.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
Im moving out april 1st and i was going over my budget i basically have like 500$ to pay for rent groceries and gas after i pay all my bills.
To clarify, $1718 (2218-500) of monthly expenses not related to rent, groceries, or gas. So car loan, credit cards, other loans, and other liabilities.
yes credit card bills which are mine. she has her own credit cards which are the same amount of debt as mine. car payment which is almost paid off. car insurance, cell phone and child support from my last relationship. they add up to 1532.00$
Originally Posted by aphexx13
i have a car accident settlement coming up in about 2 months. i could get back enough to pay off all my credit card bills, my car. that would free up about 500$.
scratch that i went over them and if i paid off my credit card debt and car payment it would save 711$ a month
A $500 savings due to credit cards and car payments would likely equate to around a $20000 settlement. I estimated the car would be middle of its term and credit cards were of course high interest.
my lawyer said the demand is 100,000$ insurance companies never accept the initial offer so its more then likely going to be less then that. im hoping for at least enough to pay off my debts and have 10000$ left over for a nest egg. my credit card debt is 13000$. my car loan is 1800$
With your credit cards and car loan paid off, that would place your other loans and liabilities at $1218/month. That’s a $60000 loan over 5 years.
i dont have any other loans. 821$ is my liabilities for the month. that leaves me 1397$ for rent, groceries, gas and my medications.
Are these other liabilities solely your’s? Or were they joint? If joint, are only taking on your share?
they arent joint.
It sounds like your disability payment is garnished if you have other sources of employment income. If that is not the case, then any income is extra and welcomed. However, even if additional income is subtracted from your disability, employment would provide more than the $13.86/hr full time equivalent you are currently receiving.
its not garnished and my long term disability doesnt allow me to have any additional income. thats why i want off of it. social security is still pending. if i get approved for that i can work part time but has a cap which would equal what i make now so social security wont help.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
im looking for a room to rent.
Your amount available for accommodations is limited. You could consider a roommate to perhaps afford more than a basement room/suite.
im hoping for something like that.
Originally Posted by aphexx13
jobs ive been looking at that i could take online courses would take about 2 yrs.
It sounds like you are willing and eager to work. Find employment that does not exacerbate your injury/recovery. Almost anything will provide a better income stream than you are presently receiving. While working and paying down your loans, take that online training/courses. In time, progress to better and better jobs or promotions. Pay off debts, acquire savings, good credit history, a better rental, then a house, a mortgage, and so on.
Starting over svcks! Yet, you are not starting from square one. You’ve got a lifetime of experience and wisdom to draw upon.
We miss 100% of the pitches we don’t swing at. Face this. Swing. Keep swinging. And knock it out of the park!
I believe in you man. You got this.
D
thanks for the help and support
Last edited by DnJ; 02/29/2406:09 AM. Reason: Added color for clarity of responses.
You need to speak to a lawyer. I’m not sure where you are located by being married for 2 years shouldn’t disqualify you from spousal support or alimony. Spousal support is for before the divorce, alimony is for after. You having disabilities, even if they are temporary is the exact reason for support and alimony.
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
we signed the divorce papers and im ok with the outcome. one thing we fought over was a cat. we have 3 and this one has always been closest to me. i kind of caved in a little because she is attached to the other 2 cats and my wifes kids. i may have to rent a room until i get back on my feet, and some places dont allow animals.
i feel like [censored] for opting to leave my cat. i think its for the best as i dont want to drag her out of a place shes use to, and be cooped up in 1 room i have to rent. im sure she will miss the other 2 cats as well and the kids. im very conflicted on how i feel. she will miss me as well, and i feel like im abandoning her.
Last edited by DnJ; 03/05/2403:40 PM. Reason: Removed swear word.
If you only have a room to rent, you need to focus on what’s important and, though I do feel for you, and an sympathetic to the cat situation, what are you going to do about your children you have every other weekend?
What made you decide to take all of the bills, not get alimony or support of any kind, not have the property division set up, but sign the papers anyway?
Me: 40 EX:37 Together 17 years Married 16 years 5 kids, 20,18,15,14,11
