cannot control what happens but I know I can control me. I have waited too long to confront her and force her hand. I have replayed in my head over and over what I am going to say, I have no idea what her reaction will be but I am prepared either way. I will tell her I wont live with a cheater.
I have two boys aged 18 and 16. What do I tell them in the event she leaves? Will I look like the bad guy for telling her to get out?
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
Continue from the previous thread, I am very nervous and I know I should have acted much sooner. My mistake was that by staying in the same house things could work. Now I believe that was wrong. I know that was wrong. I know I have to tell her I will no longer live with her and her cheating ways. She must leave asap. Yes it's been almost four years since the bomb was dropped. She has never followed through and due to that we are still married. The last discussion was about what divorce option to choose. We picked the less costly. I told her I still wanted to work things out no reply and no discussion since
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
There is a thread that will assist you in linking threads in the future. It is one of those that has been placed in this forum as a sticky. Here is the link:
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
I really feel because she wants to end our marriage she must be the one to leave. My question is òwhat do I do if she acknowledged the affair, but refuses to leave when I tell her I no longer want to live with a cheater
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
I really feel because she wants to end our marriage she must be the one to leave. My question is òwhat do I do if she acknowledged the affair, but refuses to leave when I tell her I no longer want to live with a cheater
I admit I don't have any personal experience in this aspect. You can't physically remove her from the house...however you can remove the stuff. She leaves for a few hours or a weekend, you pack it up and move it out. It must be quite the shock value to come home to all your stuff on the back porch or in the garage. She would likely throw a fit and call you every name under the sun, that is when you stick to your boundary of not living with a cheater.
From what ive read on here, she must be the one to decide to end it, it won't end if its a demand from you. She should come up with the plan to earn your trust, etc...she does the work. She probably won't just want to work on it as soon as she knows that you know...shouldn't have to worry about it tonight. But work on a list of "must haves" before you'll consider any sort of reconciliation and stick to your guns.
Me40; W38; S12; D9 BD11/19/2018 D filed 12/20/18 D Final 7/2020 Being the best example I know how for my kids to see.
Legally you might not be about to kick her out of the house. Just make sure you keep the MBR. Hire a lawyer, file for D, and then it will be up to the courts to decide.
Here is the thing, she might not like to for this, but she will respect you! And without respect you have to chance.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
I know I cannot kick her out. I know I do not want to go, why should I? I am not the one who wants to end the marriage.All I can say is I do not want her living in the house as long as she continues to cheat. What happens next is up to her.
I know the other man. I know it takes to. SHe made her choice and if life is better with him leave. She has only stuck around because of the children That is my belief. My boys know the other man as well but i do not think they now how serious things are between them. Again when the time comes to explain to the kids, it must be an honest explanation.
I can take half the blame for the marriage issues but I will never blame myself for her cheating. This was her choice not mine. They have snuck around and have done their best to hide the affair. She will either be relieved that she does not have to sneak around anymore, but i do not believe she will be comfortable being seen in public alone together.
Have grown as a person and with the help of this site and the book, I will get through this
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
Well my plans have been changed. My boys were supposed to be out tonight but they dtsyrf home. Tomorrow my wife leaves early for work. Should I wake up and confront her before she leaves. It will be very early and she will be driving on the highway to get to the commuter train. I just do not want to wait I am ready to open up the dialogue
Don't count the days, make the days count. Mohammad Ali
