Hey LH, mainly about S and fun places to take him. She told me about a nice park with a train. I replied, “sounds fun I will have to take him there”. No more family time haha.
I assume you feel that this interaction showed attachment or something LH, but it was regarding Son. I assure you i wouldn’t have responded if it didn’t. Maybe she is using son as means for contacting me/temp checking but idk, I’ve received advice from sandi that I shouldn’t withhold information about Son when W asks.
I don't disagree. You said paragraphs. Replies should be short and to the point. "He would like that" "sounds fun". You're still looking for table scraps (heart emojis).
The past few weeks I have replied very briefly or not at all. But yes you’re right LH, I gotta keep it that way. Will be focusing on that next. Thanks man.
On another note, feeling good lately! Everything’s going really well for me besides my sitch. I have a day here or there where I think about W and have feelings of anger. But the majority of the days I just focus on myself, son, new friends and new hobbies. Life goes on haha.
Hey guys. I’ve been reading/replying to others a lot this week. But I guess I’ll do a little update. Been NC for a bit over a week now. The last time I saw W was when picking up S from her daycare where she works. Gave her a slight “what’s up” head nod and left. Besides that she texted me a long logistics text to which I replied “yes”. That’s it.
In other news, everything’s going really well. Getting my motorcycle on Thursday, super excited about that. Learning piano slowly hahah. Had a fun week with my son when I had him. Took him to a few parks. Playing a shyt load of hockey and scoring a lot of goals. Still meeting a lot of new people and making new friends. I think I can check the get better at small talk/socializing goal off the list because I am now comfortable talking to strangers about everything under the sun.
Hung out with some mutual friends of W and myself (she wasn’t there). Got a lot of comments from mutual girl friend who is closer to W than me about how good I look and that the extra 10 pounds of muscle I’ve gained since BD suits me well. She also tried prying into my personal life and if I was dating. Things like that. I shut that down pretty quick as it isn’t her business and I don’t really trust her. I was already a confident guy but with the changes I’ve made and the goals I have achieved since BD, my confidence is at an all time high.
Not sure if this is a good thing but I guess it means my detachment is going well. Been talking to and hanging out with a really beautiful, nice girl. I don’t want to say I have feelings for her. But it crosses my mind that I want to be more than friends with her. Not gonna rush into it, just gonna try to enjoy life and see what happens.
Although I feel sadness that my S won’t know what it’s like to have parents who are together, with all the good things I have going for me, it’s getting easier and easier for me to think that I don’t really need W in my life anymore. We will see what happens but either way, I am going to thrive.
Been NC with W for 2 weeks now. Apart from a couple one word replies to her logistics texts. I see her most times I pick up my S from her work. Now I just get my S and leave. Typically she yells “okay bye!” At me. I just give her a head nod and keep walking. It’s strange to think this is the longest we haven’t talked in 7 years, but I am accepting of my situation. Hope everyone’s doing well.
Today was my day to drop of S at Ws apartment. Early morning she texted me about what time I would be dropping off. It’s the same time every week so I didnt really need to answer this but I responded “1”. She then sent a few texts about how she wanted me to bring lunch and coffee for us. I did not reply.
Got to her and her moms apartment. Did not go in. She began asking me about my motorcycle which mutual friends must have told her about, answered happily but briefly. She then invited me inside stating that her mom wasn’t home. I replied that “ no I have to get going”. She then started playfully hitting me and said that she wanted a hug. Felt like a lot of temp checks after my NC for the past few weeks. No disrespect noted today.
Had a mutual friend tell me the other day that I seem like totally different and much happier person since W moved out. I guess this can be attributed to 180s, PMA and doing a lot of inward thinking to improve on my flaws. This made me happy to hear because many people have noticed my changes which means I am checking goals off the list. I don’t think W has looked inward or done much changing. Maybe she is oblivious to her flaws. Oh well, I can only control myself. Thanks all
So I know it’s only been 3 months since W moved out. Pretty much in holding pattern as I’ve been LRT/NC unless related to S. W hasn’t mentioned D or mediation for about a month now.
The problem: we rushed through the separation agreement. Anyway after talking to my lawyer I know that if we go through with D I will be paying like 300 dollars less a month. My dumb a** agreed to pay for all of my sons daycare tuition when legally my lawyer said I should only be responsible for half. And while I’m doing okay financially, an extra 300 a month could go a long way and might provide me some great vacation opportunities in the future.
I want to continue with my DBing as I think I’ve done really well lately. I know it’s only been like 5 months since BD and I shouldn’t expect much change in that time but what are my options right now. I really don’t want to pay that extra money and as that number is written on the separation agreement I think my only option is to file or mediate? Being in limbo is no fun either lol. Any advice is appreciated.
