I disagree. I read that the vast majority of people here are successful, as long as you follow the plan. MWD wouldn’t be as successful as she is if it didn’t work the majority of the time.
Originally Posted by LBH2018
I am in the same situation. Divorce busting for a year now but wife was determined to destroy marriage, took as much as she could - 60% of assets which I had worked long hours to accumulate for our family's security and $73,000 pa in child support on going. When the other person has convinced themselves that they are a victim, and are acting from a position of hostility, you will put your future in jeopardy by trying to R. I made the mistake of being accomodating and understanding but having read these forums it appears that very few are successful at divorce busting - ultimately I lost out by not putting my interests first.
Went out last night. Saw a live cover band. Was moving, having a good time and throwing darts. Today was a gorgeous day. I couldn't get off the couch between movies and YouTube and here. Worst part about it is I know I'm choosing it when I could be doing a million other things to better myself and my situation. Depression is really bad today. Being alone in the house still knowing its going to be all gone soon. The only thing that's going to save me tonight is pictures of my son, and Rock and Roll. Watching LaBamba.
Guys I'm fighting a really bad depression the last two days. Yesterday mind went into overload, so I tried to distract it with movies and such which helped. I don't want to do anything but sleep, couldn't sleep, only slept two hours, barely ate yesterday. Late last night I fell on the floor, and went into a crying fit like I hadn't had in months. Usually that's a good release for me, and I'm good. But this time was different. After I was listening to myself sobbing, I started hysterically laughing afterwards, and didn't feel like myself, like something evil just took over me. Just felt numb the rest of the night until 1am and got up at 330am. I'm dropping all IC due to dropping W's mental health coverage, I have a high deductible on mine for mental health coverage, so that's a no go. I don't intend to have any IC from here on out. Its not going to help much and not going to change my circumstance so what is the point? Eating helps bring me back to somewhat normalcy. Does anyone know of any natural anti depressants I can get OTC at vitamin store or something?. Maybe working out will help me. I can't carry on like this.
Does your health insurance cover anti-depressants? On my plan, the generics are cheap enough you can pay for a month’s supply with loose change, which really surprised me.
I’m sorry things are so rough right now.
Me: 44 H: 44 Kids: 20, 16, 16, and 10 Together/Married: 22 years H announced he was emotionally detached and considering D: 4/4/16 H announced he is going to try to stay and reconnect: 5/1/16
I am sorry that you are going through such hard times. You are not alone. Have you looked into DivorceCare? It is a Christian divorce support group that is hosted in thousands of churches through the country. On the website you can find churches local to you that are hosting sessions right now. Don't worry about starting in the middle or end of a session. Very few people start at the beginning. This might help you to make friends to people who are going through a similar experience and it is free. Cheap group counseling with the chance of making new friends too.
Guys I'm fighting a really bad depression the last two days. Yesterday mind went into overload, so I tried to distract it with movies and such which helped. I don't want to do anything but sleep, couldn't sleep, only slept two hours, barely ate yesterday. Late last night I fell on the floor, and went into a crying fit like I hadn't had in months. Usually that's a good release for me, and I'm good. But this time was different. After I was listening to myself sobbing, I started hysterically laughing afterwards, and didn't feel like myself, like something evil just took over me. Just felt numb the rest of the night until 1am and got up at 330am. I'm dropping all IC due to dropping W's mental health coverage, I have a high deductible on mine for mental health coverage, so that's a no go. I don't intend to have any IC from here on out. Its not going to help much and not going to change my circumstance so what is the point? Eating helps bring me back to somewhat normalcy. Does anyone know of any natural anti depressants I can get OTC at vitamin store or something?. Maybe working out will help me. I can't carry on like this.
IH - I'm so sorry you are feeling like this. I haven't caught up on your sit recently - what happened?
St-Johns Wort is great for mood regulation - at least it works for me. Takes about 1-2 weeks to kick in. I also take vitamin B supplements and Omega oil. A lot of people dont believe it helps but I feel much better since starting this daily regimen.
I would highly recommend you find another way to go to IC. Yes you need it. Talk to your former IC, tell him or her your financial sit and see if they can recommend someone who does half sessions, phone sessions, even texting sessions.
Guys I'm fighting a really bad depression the last two days. Yesterday mind went into overload, so I tried to distract it with movies and such which helped. I don't want to do anything but sleep, couldn't sleep, only slept two hours, barely ate yesterday. Late last night I fell on the floor, and went into a crying fit like I hadn't had in months. Usually that's a good release for me, and I'm good. But this time was different. After I was listening to myself sobbing, I started hysterically laughing afterwards, and didn't feel like myself, like something evil just took over me. Just felt numb the rest of the night until 1am and got up at 330am. I'm dropping all IC due to dropping W's mental health coverage, I have a high deductible on mine for mental health coverage, so that's a no go. I don't intend to have any IC from here on out. Its not going to help much and not going to change my circumstance so what is the point? Eating helps bring me back to somewhat normalcy. Does anyone know of any natural anti depressants I can get OTC at vitamin store or something?. Maybe working out will help me. I can't carry on like this.
So what I am hearing is: I am depressed beyond anything I've ever experienced, but I am not going to do IC.
IHC, step back. Think about if you were reading someone else's sitch and you read that. What would you think? What would you tell them?
I hear from posters that struggle all the time "I can't afford IC." When in reality you can't afford to NOT be in IC. Where there is a will, there is a way. Find a way. Depression is nothing to scoff at. Go to your doctor at a minimum and tell him you are struggling with depression and get on an anti-depressant. Depression is nothing to fool around with. If you can't control your emotions, eventually you won't be able to control other things either, like actions.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
IH I hear how much you are struggling. I have had many days like that too. You need to get on antidepressants. They have really helped me out. They don’t work right away, it takes about a week or 2 but once they kick in you will feel different. Like Steve said, those emotions can become actions and we don’t want that.
I want you to think about something. If someone asked you 5 years ago where would you be today, would you think it would be this? Probably not!! I know this is hard because I feel your exact pain of hopelessness and feeling alone. But who’s to say 5 years from now you will be in the most amazing relationship with another woman. And you are looking back saying, “man I can’t believe I was so upset over my ex when I have this new amazing woman!!” The point is this doesn’t have to mean the end of love and good times. They can happen again. When you don’t feel like moving get up and go for a walk, when you don’t feel like eating, go out and eat your favorite food. And when you are feeling really down call someone or come on here to vent. We get it, we understand!!! Hugs
M:42 XW:41 T:19 M: 15 D:13 S:10 BD: 8/10/18 Moved out: 8/18 Moved in: 9/18/18 Moved out: 4/22/19 D papers signed 11/4/19 D final 3/18/20
An LBS could not believe in God or religion at all but I think they still need to have some sort of trust that it is out of their hands and they will come out of it on the other side just fine.
Agreed. I happen to not be religious at all. But there is something about quiet faith in the unknown that is needed. Maybe it's our faith in ourselves, or humanity, or biology. I know that I've had a couple of mini panic attacks over the past few weeks. During them I just gently remind myself, "You will not die from a panic attack. It will pass. Breathe. This will pass. Look around you - you are safe. You are safe". I have to remind my body that this is a fleeting moment and that the next one will improve. I try to look at myself objectively - as an animal on Earth. For me, it helps.
The other thing that helps is that I remind myself every success story starts with adversity. This insane pain we are in right now is what we need to get through in order to have our success story. Otherwise, we're just floating through life without attachment. I'm so very curious to see what my success story consists of.
Borrowed from Steve's thread, courtesy of Yail.
I feel down often, like you often. But the trick, the solution, is to pull myself put of the quagmire. Nobody else is going to do it for me.
Remember - This feeling will pass. It is a feeling at this one singular moment, nothing more. Not a permanent state, your life will not be this way forever. It is only what is happening at this exact moment.
You have a choice, you can choose to wallow in it, let the pain consume you. Or you can choose to accept the pain for what it is, Breathe, take a minute for yourself to calm down, and then compose yourself.
If I can do IC on minimum wage with no mental health plan, you can go to IC too.
Listen to Steve. Go to IC. Go to a doctor and get prescription antidepressants if you need them.
