Lots and lots fo temp checking today. H offered up that if I needed to talk, or needed support right now he was here for me. He told me he waited up for me to come and talk to him last night, but I never came down. I simply said thank you, I appreciate the support. An hour later he pretty much texted me the same thing. I guess he didn't get the response he was hoping for the first time. Again, a simple thank you reply. He continued to text me throughout the day about things that we can discuss tonight. He does this to me all. the. time.....
Lots and lots fo temp checking today. H offered up that if I needed to talk, or needed support right now he was here for me. He told me he waited up for me to come and talk to him last night, but I never came down. I simply said thank you, I appreciate the support. An hour later he pretty much texted me the same thing. I guess he didn't get the response he was hoping for the first time. Again, a simple thank you reply. He continued to text me throughout the day about things that we can discuss tonight. He does this to me all. the. time.....
Then it sounds like you are DB correctly! He is starting to wonder what has gotten into you and why you no longer chase after him.
Lots and lots fo temp checking today. H offered up that if I needed to talk, or needed support right now he was here for me. He told me he waited up for me to come and talk to him last night, but I never came down. I simply said thank you, I appreciate the support. An hour later he pretty much texted me the same thing. I guess he didn't get the response he was hoping for the first time. Again, a simple thank you reply. He continued to text me throughout the day about things that we can discuss tonight. He does this to me all. the. time.....
Then it sounds like you are DB correctly! He is starting to wonder what has gotten into you and why you no longer chase after him.
It's tricky to find the right balance. I'm trying not to be too cold, but I am angry, and hurt. I am trying to detach from those emotions.
H just called to ask if he could bring me home something for dinner. I simply said, "I already ate, thank you." He asked a few more questions, talked about his day and then asked me about mine. I simply said that my day was great, everything went really well (it did!). He was obviously annoyed at my short response, his tone changed, and he quickly said goodbye. In the past I would worry that he was upset or angry and try to fix it, but I'm done. I am not his friend right now. He is cheating on me- why would I want to chat him up?
I'm sorry for your loss, CSL. Detachment from your H sounds like the most positive and healthy thing from you right now. You can't have care and support rom him and because he is cheating on you, you don't want it (and rightly so). But I hope you are getting care and support from friends and family.
I'm sorry for your loss, CSL. Detachment from your H sounds like the most positive and healthy thing from you right now. You can't have care and support rom him and because he is cheating on you, you don't want it (and rightly so). But I hope you are getting care and support from friends and family.
Thank you Alison. I have a great support system. Not many know what is going on right now, but those that do are taking great care of me.
H was clearly annoyed with the situation this morning. Telling me he hopes I know he is just worried about me with all that I am going through. I thanked him for his concern, and said I appreciate the support as I would have done the same for him. He told me he is trying to be cordial, trying to check in, and sometimes he calls just out of habit. I told him appreciate that he thinks of me. I know I should just leave it at that, but..... I told him that I cannot be his friend while he is cheating on me. He rolled his eyes and said, "so I can't go to the gym, or talk to people on the phone?" I told him as long as he was contacting OW, I could not be his friend. He said OK and walked out the door in a huff.
What does he expect? He wants to have his cake and eat it too, and for some reason he thinks I should be ok with that?! He will not admit that this is an affair, only that it is inappropriate to be "talking" with OW. I know it has gone beyond that. He admits that it is not fair to me, he understands (or says he does) that is hurts me, but insists it is not what I think. I know better..... Until he is ready to admit that, I feel we have no chance at R.
I don't think there will be any temp checking today, haha. And I'm ok with that
Glad to hear you have a good support system helping you out. Use them.
Heres the 2x4 for the day:
You made a clear statement about tolerance the day you moved his sh**t out of your bedroom. A statement that showed that you were not his friend, a statement that showed that you are not tolerant in regards to his activities with OW.
You are drained, you are hurt and you are definitely hurting from this loss you are experiencing, so I say this with the upmost respect, but I say it, because I want to help you...
Stop engaging in his cake eating conversations - Your husband, is engaging in affair like activities with another woman, and he is fine with that. That just shows how little he thinks about you.. its all about him... Actions, actions, you, you, you....
Please... You are doing good, move forward... By taking the bait, you are coming off as weak and thats not doing you any favor...
Heres how it could had panned out: CSL: "I can't be your friend when you are cheating on me, Husband".
Husband: "What?! I can't have friends and go to the gym?!"
CSL: "We both know what is really going on."
End of conversation.
Lots of thoughts and condolences from my side of the pond.
BD: Wife says "its over" 11th august 2018. EA: June 2018 PA: August 2018 - ongoing Status: Taking turns 7 days a week to be in the house w. kids WW: no regrets, seems happy with leaving.
Glad to hear you have a good support system helping you out. Use them.
Heres the 2x4 for the day:
You made a clear statement about tolerance the day you moved his sh**t out of your bedroom. A statement that showed that you were not his friend, a statement that showed that you are not tolerant in regards to his activities with OW.
You are drained, you are hurt and you are definitely hurting from this loss you are experiencing, so I say this with the upmost respect, but I say it, because I want to help you...
Stop engaging in his cake eating conversations - Your husband, is engaging in affair like activities with another woman, and he is fine with that. That just shows how little he thinks about you.. its all about him... Actions, actions, you, you, you....
Please... You are doing good, move forward... By taking the bait, you are coming off as weak and thats not doing you any favor...
Heres how it could had panned out: CSL: "I can't be your friend when you are cheating on me, Husband".
Husband: "What?! I can't have friends and go to the gym?!"
CSL: "We both know what is really going on."
End of conversation.
Lots of thoughts and condolences from my side of the pond.
Thank you for the 2x4 Hurt213. I continue to let me emotions get the best of me. H thinks he is just being kind to me- checking in, etc. But really it is all about making himself feel better.
