Ok thanks guys...….I am rude or disrespectful I just don't have anything to say to her. I don't go out of my way to find her, I don't go sit by her or attempt to make small talk either. I don't purposely avoid her but I don't initiate either if that makes sense. I don't make it awkward for anyone else either, I still smile and interact with everyone like I normally do I just don't interact with her. She is like someone I just met, we might be in the same room together but she is doing her thing and I am doing mine.
I see nothing wrong in your approach. I feel very similarly. I do see exW on the weekends and from the pleasantries and other kids related things, I have nothing to talk to her about and I have no desire to inquire more about her life. I find it strange and contradictory when they want to be 'buddies'. Like they asked for a separation and divorce and wanted the LBS to get outta their lives. We're giving them precisely what they asked for. So no, I don't think you're being rude or disrespectful. If you want to be more than what it is now, that's up to you and I wouldn't ding you on that. But I personally don't see a need for that.
I don’t know the details of your divorce or BD, but chances are if you are on these forums, cheating, lying, dating, gaslighting was at play. I would never be friends with someone that stole from me or assaulted me or conned me. That’s not a person I would trust or want to deal with. Most of our ex”s did stuff that in my opinion would put them somewhere close to the bottom of Dante’s inferno.
I don't know why she feels the need to tell me things that are going on in her life, what she is up to, etc. The other day for example, I went into her place to drop the girls bags off and she started telling me about a project she was working on for school, what she was drawing. I just said something along the lines of.....oh that's nice and then said good bye to the girls and left. It's weird.
Last night the Dr and I went out for her birthday to this local Italian restaurant that has an awesome patio with a large grassy area that has a band on Friday nights in the summer. People not eating at the restaurant come with their lawn chairs and sit in the grassy area, drink and listen to the music. Well the doc and I had an outdoor table, got a bottle of wine and was just chillin and out of know where my XW's best friend sat in the grassy area like 10 ft from our table. I was like holy fuch this is fricken great! I told the dr who she was and thought to myself what should I do. I know her and when we were married we would all go out as couples. Turns out I ended up doing nothing and she never saw me. I thought if I walked up and said hi I would have to introduce the DR and I didn't want to make it look like I wanted it to get back to my XW. I also really didn't care either TBH.
We spent the day together, went out to brunch, took a little nap this afternoon and going out tonight to listen to some music and have a few cocktails. We did go to the gym together this morning and got our workouts in so all wasn't lost.
Last edited by job; 05/27/1911:52 AM. Reason: added link to new thread
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
