You can revisit it every 3 years, but if she chooses to go part time that’s of her doing. I got my bachelors in nursing online while working full time. People often do that. And teachers really can’t work part time. I don’t think she’s going after money. I did have to ask my ex a few times on a Sunday to take my D so I could write a paper. But he has less time than me so no big deal.
I agree G......I think she just wanted me to know for whatever reason.
Spent all weekend with the Dr. it was fun, relaxing, and I felt us becoming closer. This was the first weekend in over a month where our kid schedules were aligned and I think at least for me it was very much needed. When you are just going over to someone's house for sex during the week or just out to eat and then sex on a Friday night I think it has been difficult for me to see her in a different light. We just hadn't had the time to spend hours with each other, just relaxing doing nothing, hanging out, etc. with no time table.
Ahh, the different light. Not just the dressed up part with all of her cosmetic enhancements looking beautiful going out on the town (giving the perception that is all she is). I some times forget she is a mom which is something I have not witnessed or have seen her in action. That behind all the enhancements she is a mom! She is also a strong independent woman that is smart, own her own business, manages her own finances, makes her own decisions, drives herself, etc. My XW was the polar opposite, managed no finances, really made no decisions for the family, definitely didn't shoot guns or clear the fence line on her ranch, ride around in a Polaris, etc. She didn't even do yard work at our house.
Friday night we went out, listened to a band and got tipsy. The conversation got deep at one point, her telling me how much she likes and I falling in love with me. Then she started to tear up as she was telling me what a good person I am, knows the value I bring, apologizing for how bad my XW hurt me, and how she can "see" me. It was probably the alcohol talking more than anything but it was an interesting moment for sure. We have spoken about our former marriages, what happened, the effects on us etc. as we have gotten closer and learn more about each other but it certainly has not dominated our conversations. I guess it has been something that has been on her mind for her to bring it up. Still no kid meeting talk yet, just the acknowledgement that it will happen at some point. No "I love you" words have been shared yet either.
She also told me that she is really scared as she has not found a reason yet to get ride of me and usually it is very easy for her to dismiss people she is dating.
I left her place Saturday morning to go to my daughter's soccer games then back to her place afterwards so we could drive out to her ranch. We hung out there the rest of the day Saturday, shot her AR 15, did some work around the place and consumed some adult beverages. No in-depth convo's Saturday but we were both really tired and fell asleep pretty early. We woke up Sunday morning, I made breakfast, then we cleaned up the place then left. We got back home around 1 and then I left to go home as I had a ton of stuff to do around the house. We will see each other again on Saturday.
My girls are aware that I have a friend that makes cupcakes. My oldest asked me if she could bake her a cake. The Dr. did buy me a pillow for her place which I thought was very sweet. I slept much better Saturday night because I took my pillow with me to her ranch.
I am starting to see a future with the Dr. I still feel very centered though emotionally and don't feel this need to spend every waking moment with her. I do feel that my emotions are starting to get engaged. I feel very comfortable around her, that I can be myself. I don't feel pressure to be someone I am not. She doesn't care about my money, what I make, where I take her, what I can do for her in that regard, etc. She is very down to earth and practical. She is not a lavish spender, shops at second hand stores, uses coupons, doesn't have a fancy car, or jewelry, clothes, etc. I think at times it was hard for me to get past her enhancements to see her for who she truly is.
her telling me how much she likes and I falling in love with me.
Well - you've gotten that now too. Are you ok with it?
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
My oldest birthday is tomorrow....the big 10!! That girl has went through quite a bit over the last couple of years and I am very proud of her. She is a very happy 10 yr old girl that loves her phone! I got her one of the Hoover boards.
On Saturday I asked the Dr. how she failed in her marriage. She told me she should have been more supportive of her husband, more understanding that she wasn't there for him when he needed her the most. I thought that was good perspective on her part. She said he didn't have the capacity/strength to help himself. She also said that she did make it clear to him that their R wasn't working but he didn't take what she conveyed to him seriously. Ultimately when they did Divorce it was a joint decision and he wanted out to.
I do think she is ready to meet my girls and I am scared to meet her son. She told me on Friday she would never push me to make it happen. I think both of us not pushing each other is the reason why we have lasted as long as we have. I am still looking around the 6 month mark, as we are only a couple of weeks away from 4 months. She has sent me quite a few pictures of him and he is a really cute kid.
She sent me a text on Sunday night "thanking" me for breakfast. Told me how much she appreciated me cooking for her and cleaning up the kitchen. She just wanted to me to know that it didn't go unnoticed. I thought that was really cool. We discussed just dating and not getting married again. She told me that she wants someone to come to, to share her day with, someone that will be there with her the companionship, etc.
It doesn't mean it will be her and I together but I did enjoy getting insight into her thoughts.
As far as the kid introduction thing goes, since they are younger, you may want to read back on Ginger1's thread about how it went there. It was pretty much a non-event but that was because they both put some thought in to making it a non-event. For B and I we just treated it as "normal" - having dinner with her daughter and her family, S24 waving as he wandered through the house engaged in his own life .... And yes - I was pretty nervous too.
Once that hurdle is past you'll find opportunities to get together to expand.
And for heaven's sake, stop being so analytical and just relax - people have been dating and getting together for a very long time
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Well I think I made the dr mad this morning. She makes cupcakes and I didnt ask her to make any for my daughters birthday today. My plan was to go to Kroger this morning and get her just 1 so I could put a candle in it and sing happy birthday to her this morning. When I got to the store this morning I just thought it would be a good idea to get more so she could share with her class. So I sent the dr a picture saying they are not hers but will have to do. The dr has never responded which is not like her. Come to find out the school wouldn't allow them so I have 25 cupcakes to some how get rid of.
Maybe she's just wrapped up in something and hasn't had a chance to respond yet. That seems like an odd thing to get mad about. I love to bake and if someone sent me a message that said what yours did, I would be the total opposite of mad....it would make me feel good that they thought highly of what I did. As far as getting rid of the cupcakes, do NOT stand outside the school calling random kids over and offering them to them........I would think that would get you arrested.
Me 52, H53 Bomb drop 9/29/2014 Divorce from XH final 12/17/2014 Marriage #2 12/31/2019 5 adult (step)daughters (3 from XH's first marriage, 2 from current H's previous relationships) 6 grandkids
Thanks D.....she had offered to make a cake but since she hasn't met my girls yet I felt a little awkward accepting so I just kind of blew it off. Last night we spoke about her bringing some over to my place but with her son and my girls we couldn't coordinate a time. I did mention going to Kroger in the am and getting some for my Daughter I just didn't think at the time I would buy for her entire class. It really was a spur of the moment decision so I hope I didn't offend her.
It's just not like her to go 3 hours without getting back to me. At this point though I have no clue that she is mad it is just me assuming.
She has given me cupcakes before for my girls and when my girls asked where I got them I just said a friend.
