I'm mostly angry that W didn't figure out before we had a child that what she really wanted was to stay out half the night on the lesbian party scene.
I can talk to most people all day long about the lack of respect & attraction in their MR. But what does it matter if their spouse is gay? That is what you need to deal with. What you want, what isn't fair to D2, or what makes you angry doesn't change her.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
