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Read this from a master , I I expect with no job her funds will be tight . Shore up your money . Let OM pay her upkeep. , see how fairytale that one works out . Get improving yourself physically and mentally


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Just keep POSTING and one other bit of advice from Wonka
that I totally agree with.

Originally Posted by Wonka
Get DR/DB book. Keep this to yourself. DO NOT share this book or this site at all with your spouse. It is your playbook and not to be shared with the "opposing" team.

It is important to clear the search/browsing history from your computer on a daily basis to prevent the possibility for your WAS to stumble on the DB site and discover your posts here on DB. Erasing the search history will protect your posts and you as well.

We have seen too many Marriages blow up in pieces after the WAS discovers the DB site or DR book. Why is that? It is because the WAS thinks, erroneously I might add, that you are "manipulating" them back into the M.

Keep the DR book and DB site very close to your vest.


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Nik11 Offline OP
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Thanks a lot Tryhard and I agree with your comments and thanks for the thread you posted.

I know I have to detach and work on my self and that is what I doing. Will buy the book today itself.

The only thing was that i wanted to know from the people who have gone from the same experience so share their thoughts becuase they will help me decide how to proceed further without causing damage/further damage.

I am confused about confronting and that experience I would still like to know from other members who have done i and what worked and what did not, how did they do it, was there anything specific that made a huge impact, anything that deteriorated things.

So that is why I had put in the questions and some details as to ensure that they have some background.

I

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R2C nailed it. Tell her you know. Not what you know or how you know.

I would do it before she moves out.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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There is a saying around here that things have to get worse before they get better.

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Sorry and glad you are here Vik.

Just take some time to relax. You are not in a hurry, in fact time is your ally. Use that time wisely.

Keep reading, keep posting.

Do as R2C says. You need to regain some respect. Then set her free: "W you are free to go, good luck. See you around"

Detach, GAL, be there for your kid, set boundaries.

Be strong, your journey is just starting. You have a goal, get into amoafwl. Start walking. It“s a marathon, keep the pace.


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What happens if she says after confrontation that as things are out in open now, I want a divorce as I plan to be with OM.

I don't want divorce but want to know how should I react if that is what my WW says.

I plan to confront her this Saturday and really want to make sure that i have answers to all that can be thrown my way.

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Vik, can you be stoic?


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
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Steve85, I don't think I have a choice as I have to keep my emotions in check.
But knowing what can come my way and how to respond can help me prepare better and also keep my emotions in control.

I dread the D word that I may hear, but I have to face the reality and not bury my head in sand.

As she is moving out next week, I want to make sure I confront her before that and keep my self respect intact.

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I am with you. On BD for me my W said she didn't want to be married anymore. She said she wanted to get a job, get an apartment, and get a D.

15 months later our MR 2.0 is in full swing. What you may hear IS not a guarantee of what will be. Remember that. In my case I think my W was basically saying, "I am telling you it is over so you will back off and let me do what I want to do." In hindsight I don't think she ever truly intended to go through with it.

BELIEVE NOTHING THEY SAY AND ONLY HALF OF WHAT THEY DO.


M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018
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