Just happened to click on your thread and something resonated with my concerning your sitch that I relate to. I was in a similar circumstance with regard to my mortgage and inability to pay it alone. My WW refused to offer in support, wouldn’t allow me to bring in roommates, (due to my son being with me 50% and not having him in same dwelling as strangers)...essentially she made things as difficult as all heck.
So I turned the tables and reached out to my mortgage company and explained my situation and asked if they offerred any aid. They offerred me and I accepted a 6 month “reprieve” program....which essentially is a reverse mortgage. They agreed to a reduced mortgage payment within my means, while any and all unpaid mortgage amount would be applied to the back end of the note. Now this was also under the understanding that I would be selling the house. But in the end it burned my WW, as I reduced our overall principal by $15k over the time my house was on the market and there wasn’t a thing WW could do about it. One of the reasons she became WW was on the anticipated money she assumed she would be getting from me out of divorce....well now the number is essentially pennies on the dollar.
Just saying I would ask your lender to see if they have any programs. If you can avoid your mortgage from going into default, it can prevent your credit from taking a hit, etc. And it gives your WW a bit of her own medicine.
Wow EZ, this info from you is heaven sent. thank you so much for dropping in. if i don’t get any reply from her this weekend, then i will contact the mortgage lender.
Just read the message you sent, I think that sounded good. Not really surprised on her lack of a response. WAS's just want everything to go smoothly with as little work from them as possible, when they start to realize that's not going to be the case then they often tend to shut down and withdraw.
Just read the message you sent, I think that sounded good. Not really surprised on her lack of a response. WAS's just want everything to go smoothly with as little work from them as possible, when they start to realize that's not going to be the case then they often tend to shut down and withdraw.
thanks AS. i just go back to what she said, she wants it to be as cheap and hassle free as possible.
just a quick update... signed the service yesterday, or as what is known as “ i got served”. should i now retain my own lawyer or just wait?
Yeah like LH said it's L time. I assume she ignored your proposal and just wrote something up that's all in her favor?
thanks LH, AS. nothing has been proposed yet, all she did was get her own L, and start the D proceedings. her L wants us to sit down and talk about what we want from each other. D14 custody is my main concern. D14 doesn’t want anything to do with her, but WW wants to spend time with her. this is what’s tearing me apart.
one of the biggest concerns i have with this debacle is my D14. she really doesn’t want anything to do with her, so i was thinking of sending this to WW...
one of the biggest debacle we both have is the time with D14. i will not restrict or place a cap on whatever time you want to spend time with D14, or wherever you want to take her. holidays, school breaks or anytime you want to have her, you can have her. hoping not to have the courts decide on this. my only concern is, if she refuses or agrees to whenever or wherever you take her, i hope we can respect her decision. time heals all wounds. it is not going to take a month or a couple of months to fix the dynamic between the two of you, but forcing her to have a relationship with you will not help the cause either.
