A black coat? So many people wear black coats. You might want to wear one of your "bright" colored bow ties so that she can pick you out in the crowd.
Good luck and just enjoy yourself!
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Watch for the signs of attraction. Hair flipping, breaking the touch barrier, sitting turned towards you, etc. If you have a romantic interest always go for the kiss!!! I remember my first date post D, I was nervous and like a deer in headlights. You will be great!!
Laughing thinking about my invisible audience waiting for an update.
Date went well. Pictures were certainly not representative. She does have a lovely smile and sparkling eyes. We closed the coffee shop and the pie was tasty. No smooches but extra friendly hugs. 2nd date tentatively planned for brunch Sunday depending on some travel plans that Brenda has on Saturday and the weather.
She and I seem compatible but have several different interests and not a huge amount of overlap that I noticed.
Some red flags that will bear watching especially including the fact that she is in no hurry it seems to divorce although she says that she has put him firmly in the rear-view and there is a fair bit of geography between them as he lives in North/Central Ontario. Certainly some practical things that have not been sorted out.
And there are an astounding number of women who wear black coats
Thank you and looking forward to next date texts exchanged. Time for me to make tomorrow's lunch and do the dishes.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
Well the pictures were certainly of her but the main one she had up had to be at least 15 years old.
She's a year or so older than me. Gravity is a thing. She is a fine looking mature woman still. Why she posted misleading photos is a question perhaps not worth asking but worth remembering. It "is" incredibly common according to what I understand.
It does raise the question of course - which would be needed to be examined no matter what - how much can be believed. We had enough coffee to awaken Dawn's entire early morning class and a fairly nice piece of pie each. Over that time we learned a bit about each other and our back stories.
Married twice. 4 kids from the first marriage, the last of whom is significantly taller than the others and a "vascectomy mistake". Met / possibly married husband #2 4 months after leaving #1 who if I remember correctly was abusive.
With #2 for over 20 years. 2 step-kids. Left after his second affair. She tells a story that could be copy/pasted from many LBS here. He's "depressed". She's not pushing for divorce / property settlement until after he "gets better". He's supposedly working on getting current OW a visa to move to Canada - we've heard this song before. If OW moves in to the house that's her red-line that it needs to be sold otherwise she's waiting for him to get out of his "depression". It certainly appears to me that she's not completely let go of that past life even though she claims no interest in reconciliation. The cynic in me suggests that she's shopping for a better deal while "standing".
From the timelines as she mentioned them including her dating experience thus far, she started started dating not long after leaving with somewhat typical experience. Clingers. Future fakers etc. Not sure how far any of those relationships went. She had to block at least one and got ghosted by at least one. I think she's had a fair number of first dates.
I have a tendency to believe people and take them at face value. A couple of years ago I wouldn't have any issues with any of this. It's plausible. It very likely is true. One date certainly isn't the measure of a person though. So I'm being careful. And I hate being a cynic and will try to not have that colour any interaction.
A couple of other things since I've had a chance to think about it (reconciliation nightmares last night - not unexpected).
- She's not a reader and doesn't seem to have any interest in current events or history. - She's spent her entire life taking care of people including right now her adult son and his 2 kids that he has full custody of after a messy split. So she's taking care of all of them. It was part of how he got custody. He's not working because of child-care which I don't believe includes a lot of housework. He does have a girlfriend in the local city (how?) that she drives him up to because he doesn't drive. She seems very very tired of taking care of everyone but also proud of it. - She likes going on cruises and I believe that she had a very comfortable lifestyle prior to her split. Her STBX(?) is 61 and has been retired with a very good pension for a while. - She likes to gamble - moderately she says. Lottery tickets and rarely casino. - Not sure about how she's funding all of this on a retail clerk's income. She perhaps is getting unofficial support payments. - Post divorce she should do reasonably well in the settlement and be self-suffucient - Family is very very big for her. Much time spent with her 7 siblings most of whom are 15 years older than her and also with her kids and handful of grandkids.
We did have a very nice time. I did get a lot of "I'm very interested" body language that didn't include any of the things you mentioned J9. She's not 12 though. I think she'd had a very long ad stressful day and was certainly drooping by the end of the 2 hour coffee date. And neither of us are as young as we used to be.
Well - enough for now. Time to hop in to the shower and get my day underway. I'll undoubtedly get / send some messages to Brenda this morning. So far - and while fully recognizing the things I've mentioned - I do like her. She is kind, clever, positive. And does have a lovely smile.
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
It sounds like you had a nice evening with Brenda, and I'm glad you're dating. Along the way, I'm sure you'll find someone who'll mesh much better with your interests and sensibilities.
Agree w/doodler. It does sound like you had a nice evening. Try not to be too judgmental of what she has done in the past. Focus on the present and just enjoy meeting up w/someone and having a coffee/tea/dinner. Neither of you is ready for a serious relationship between the two of you.
You've take the first step in dipping your toe in the dating pool. There will be many more for you to meet up with as time moves along. Just enjoy the dating game and when you aren't looking, you'll find the right one.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
Nice job Andrew. The first one is always the hardest. !
Good thing this is number 3
On BD H52, W50 T27, M26 S21, D23 BD-9-Mar-16 D-15-Jan-18 Final-19-Apr-18 I am a storyteller. The story may do you no good. But a story is never for the listener. It is always for the one who tells
